Tuesday, June 16, 2009

What Gives?

A few weeks ago I met this guy, whom I’ll call Jack, out at a club. We went home together that night, and although it was a very vanilla affair, I believe we both enjoyed each other’s company. I didn’t ask for his number when we were together, but we did become facebook friends the following Monday and messaged back and forth a few times. As the week went on, my affection for him began to grow. Since he didn’t have his number listed in his facebook info, I messaged him on Friday and asked him three questions.

1. Are you in town this weekend?
2. May I call you? and if so
3. What is your number?

He messaged back:

1. That he was leaving for the weekend.
2. I could call him.
3. And he gave me his number

So on Tuesday, I called Jack, we chatted for a bit and I then asked him out on a date. I don’t remember his specific response, but his answer to my request was left open on the phone call but he said that he would get back to me the following day. So the following day I was at my cousin’s wedding in Disneyland when I received his text at 9:43PM.

“I didn’t forget about you. I just got home from a crazy day.”

I replied to him with a text at 10:57PM.

“I hope it was crazy good. Will b back in Weho tmrw afternoon. I’m no sleuth but I sense ur days are crazier than mine, so touch base when u can. Thx!

Well, I never heard back from Jack, so I called and left a voicemail message for him on Sunday.

So let me tell you, it’s a great feeling to not only be forgotten, to use Jack’s word, but to also be ignored. This experience takes me back to the only other guy that I asked out on a date. (the rest of my dates, the other guys asked me) In both cases, neither of the guys provided me with a yes or no answer.

What’s with that?

In addition, and in an evaluation of my own self, I asked both of the guys out immediately before I would be leaving town for extended periods of time.

What does this say about me? Is it just a coincidence of time, or is there something with me asking guys out before I leave town? (Jack didn’t know I would be leaving town, but Gene did.)

I do believe Jack is a good guy and I know he works a lot, but I just don’t know what happened and it’s bothering the hell out of me. We have a few things in common, and I would like to get to know him better. I will follow up with him again in a few weeks, but I’m beginning to get frustrated that, in my limited experience, a pattern is developing where guys don’t have the balls to lay it on the line and say yes or no.

Oh, and the funny part of the story is that on Sunday, I learned from a friend that Jack lives two houses down from him. Maybe I’ll go knock on his door and ask for some sugar. lol


borg_queen said...

I wouldn't. It would better if you feign disinterest. If he's not that into you, show him the feeling is mutual and that you deserve better.

queer heaven said...

I have to agree with borg_queen. He may end up wondering why you are not interested in him and want to find out.

Adventures with Pasadenamn said...

It's a very WeHo thing. Commitment is a foggy part of the gene pool in California.

silverrrcloud said...

Do not fool yourself.

If a dude is genuinely interested for whatever, date, sex, friendship, etc., he'll get his planning going, and you'll be getting together accordingly.

The fact is that most people really cannot quite make up their minds. "yeah, this dude is cool, and it would be great to get together...unless, someone even more interesting, and readily available knocks on my door now..."

In other words, loads of guys are 'interested' for whatever as long as this does not require absolutely any effort or ever so small inconvenience on their part.

Bottomline: if you bump into him, have some fun, and pick it up from there. If not, move on.