I’ve thought long and hard, really from the start of my blogging experience, on whether I would ever post a picture of myself in any form on Stand Straight. One of the two guys who knew that I was blogging from the start recommended that I do. To which I vehemently opposed for a number of reasons. Stand Straight is not, and will never be about pictures of beautiful guys. (although you will occasionally see some) There are already a number of great sites and blogs that cater to that sort of thing. What Stand Straight has been and will always be about is me and my own personal growth in coming out, from a repressed state, as a gay man in 2008 America. As as I outlined in my very first post, Break it Down, one of the three goals in writing Stand Straight was for it to provide me with the opportunity to evaluate my own personal growth as my journey progressed.
Now that I’m back in Phoenix, I’ve had the opportunity to look back at my experiences over the last few months and reflect on how far I’ve come. I believe I have made some tremendous strides on a number of fronts but one of the two areas where I still struggle with is my body and having other guys look at it. I still find it very awkward and in some respects I remain a basket case when they do. I had one experience at the Abbey about a week ago where a guy, who was by himself, looked me up and down and then began to chuckle. I immediately began to wonder what the hell was he chuckling at. Was I excited? Did I spill ketchup on myself? Did my pee miss the urinal? Did a bird shit on me? Was cum dripping down my mouth? (no it couldn’t have been that) It freaked me out and I became totally self conscious. My night was ruined after that because every time from then on that someone would look at me, they reinforced that guy’s chuckle in my mind. When I finally arrived home I did a thorough inspection and everything appeared normal. (thankfully I couldn’t see inside my brain)
So in an effort to grow and become more comfortable with other guys looking at me, I now expose Adam.
Well kind of.
The two body parts that need the most work are ones that unfortunately I will not be sharing. (my two heads) Ironically, both of them may need professional help.
And if anybody who happens to read this thinks they know who I am, I ask that you please respect my identity and the therapeutic intent on why I chose to post these pictures. I sincerely appreciate it and thanks!
5 comments:
There ain't nothin' wrong with that!
Dude, you're hot. Be confident out there. :-)
Weho has some beautiful men and from what we can see in the pics you are one of them. The guy at the Abbey was probably thinking he didn't have a chance you the likes of you. You're beautiful, be confident.
Damned! You're fine! I'd hit that.
Let me give my non sugar-coated opinion on the giggling guy: as you've said before, someone commented that you seem so serious while in a bar. That's what the guy wsa probably thinking "oh, another poor virgin, trying to get some meat." Granted what he did wasn't nice but take it as a challenge to show him that you can. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're beautiful and you know it!
Thanks guys for your comments and Kelly the sweater is Calvin Klein and I purchased it last fall at Macy's.
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