Beschert

A Yiddish word that can loosely be defined as something that is “destined” or “meant to be.” I learned about beschert during a wonderful conversation I had with a long time family friend of my parent’s generation last Wednesday. She has known me my whole life and a central component of our conversation was why. Why did I wait so long? Unfortunately it was too easy to answer that question. But the more we talked, the more I began to recognize and accept that my life, and the decisions that I’ve made were beschert.

If my life was “destined,” then I guess one could say my friends were “meant to be.” As nervous as I may have been for my initial coming out conversations in August, these conversations over the last few weeks were extremely fun. I was comfortable, I was confident, and most importantly I was proud that the truth was finally being told to so many people who have been important parts of my life. Although each conversation was as unique as the friend(s) who(m) I was speaking with, the results were all the same. Their friendship, affection, and affinity for me won’t change and they are all extremely happy that I’m happy. What I hope changes, and as I communicated to them, is that our relationships grow deeper and stronger. I do recognize that over the course of time friendships do wane for a multitude of different reasons. With the conversations I’ve had with all of my friends, most of whom I’ve known for well over 10 years, I am comforted with the belief that their statements expressed were genuine, and if a friendship does wane it certainly won’t be because I’m gay.

But who knew that my being gay would have such an immediate impact on other areas of mutual interest in our lives. Our University’s football team has played like crap the last few weeks and my friends were quick to point out to me late Saturday evening that the timing seems to parallel my visit and subsequent coming out to them. Coincidence? :-) It was also very nice and very meaningful, that while most of us were together late Saturday night some inquisitive questions were asked. That engagement meant so much to me, and although I couldn’t answer a number of questions their interest and desire to learn was genuine. I also mentioned to them my hope to soon go on my first date. So now the pressure is really on. (I hope to see you at the gym soon Z.)

So as I sit here having arrived back in WeHo all I can really add is that I’m a gay ‘ol happy fool! (see Runners, take your mark post) My plan worked and the “80” have been told. There are still a few more people that I would like to tell personally, but I now consider myself OUT!

Adam has now left the closet and it was beschert!