Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Under Pressure

I’m at the gym yesterday and I found a new time when there were a lot more hotties there. (at least on Monday) Anyway, yesterday was chest and back day. My second to last exercise were dumbbell rows.

I would like to think my form was a bit stricter with my straight leg providing more balance by being spaced out further, my ass in the air, and a nice arch in my back. Anyway, what was so funny was that right after I started this exercise, Under Pressure from Queen w/David Bowie came on my IPOD. I almost lost it as I thought it was so funny noting the position I was in on the bench and my lack of action since I arrived in WEHO.

Then I get home and learned that my younger sister and brother in-law would be making a quick visit to see me and my brother in-law’s sister in LA this Friday. I will be picking them up at the airport and bringing them to my apartment. We will then all go for dinner Friday night. Clearly I don’t know what will happen but this Friday may be the moment of truth. My plan at this point hasn’t changed. I still would like to come out to my parents first when I return to Phoenix in September. So I do not plan on initiating any conversation with regard to my sexuality, or lack thereof at this point, on Friday but I have decided that If they ask me if I am gay I will respond with the following:

Yes, I believe I am gay. I am not 100% certain because I have not fully experienced being with another guy, but I believe that I am and have always to some degree been attracted to other guys. I have only fooled around with another guy once at this point and we did nothing serious. I decided to move to West Hollywood to give myself the space and allow myself the strongest opportunity in living an honest and free life while figuring out just who I am. I have not told you up to now, and I wasn’t planning on telling you this weekend because I am not 100% certain, but since you asked, I told myself before I moved here that when I crossed the Colorado River I would no longer lie. I still need more time and until I am 100% certain I don’t intend to tell anyone else. So you MUST keep this conversation between us. I know that will be difficult for you SISTER, but it is very important to me that you do. I am hopeful that I will be able to be more forthcoming and open with everyone else by the time I return to Phoenix for my visit in September.


I am looking forward to their visit and am hopeful that things will go well on Friday. I have NO concerns about my family accepting or loving me any less, and would be surprised at this point if they didn’t already expect it. Especially my sister and brother in-law. Nonetheless, I am prepared and ready for this discussion on Friday but I hope it doesn't occur. We shall see.

Now if I can only find a cute guy in the next two days. Now that's PRESSURE!

Queen w/David Bowie-"Under Pressure

1 comment:

dan said...

wow, well time will tell just what comes up in the conversaton i guess. and then you are left with the memorized script or I sort of imagined you pulling out notes from your pocket like at the oscars. ha good luck man.
oh yeah, I'm going to look at a map, I found myself wondering jsut where is Phoenix compared to the colorado river. West of the missippi I've heard before but the colorado, that's a new one. ha.
later.