Sleeping Alone

As I lay awake
on this lonely night
The thoughts that race
in this never ending fight

Have I gone mad,
have I lost my mind
The sadness runs deep,
it is so unkind

The quest for love
is such an arduous task
It is easily apparent
why one may reach for the flask

The world could be cruel,
could be mean, could be unfair
What I can’t seem to comprehend
Is why there is such a chill in the air

The lies, the selfishness,
the lack of depth to so many
Why do I allow myself to go after
the inconsiderate, self-centered, and meaningless boys of plenty

As the frustration and angst
continues to snowball and grow
My failure to date belongs to me,
that I accept and that I know

And so I write
cause I can’t seem to sleep
Left to wonder
if, when, and whom I will meet

Will today be the day,
as the sun begins to rise
Or will the sun set on Sunset,
with me wondering the same thoughts as I try to close my eyes

Story of Self

So the reason I left Vegas early was because I had two full days of Prop 8/Marriage Equality workshops that I had committed to attend. I arrived at the EQCA Summit at the L.A. Convention Center a bit late on Saturday and I missed most of the morning session. (no worries though because I learned most of what was discussed as conveyed in my Surprise Guest post) The rest of the event was just so-so and I left about two hours early.

On Sunday, I was invited by the Courage Campaign to participate in their Inaugural Camp Courage. This full day event was modeled after the Camp Obama, grassroots organizer program, and they did a great job enhancing it to meet our equality needs. The Courage Campaign will be holding additional Camps around the State of California so if you reside in California, please go check out their Camp Courage Vote website and get involved.

The first action based, working session that our cohort participated in was the creation and presentation of our own unique Stories of Self. The Courage Campaign describes a Story of Self as one that tells why we have been called to serve. The key focus is on choice points; moments in our lives when our values are formed; when we have to choose in the face of great uncertainty. A good public story is drawn from the series of choice points that have structure-the “plot” of your life: the challenges you faced, the choices you made, and the outcomes you experienced. This storytelling is important because it is a means of communicating our experiences in a way people can respond to by connecting with their emotions. Oh, and our story wasn’t supposed to exceed two minutes in length. Which makes sense because when we are engaging people out on the streets, their time is at a premium.

The story that I presented on Sunday was obviously my story, the one I have written about here in Stand Straight since May. Only, it was the 2 minute verbal version. (truth be told mine went a few seconds longer then two minutes) And you know what, most of my group thought I had the best one. I’ve heard similar sentiments expressed many times over the last few months and I’m beginning to believe that my story is pretty darn cool!

Surprise Guest

It was quite the surprise to learn that on Thursday night at my organization’s leadership meeting we would have a surprise guest. That surprise guest just happened to be the Executive Director of EQCA. The same Executive Director who I partly blamed, and whose resignation I asked for because of the defeat of Proposition 8 in November. (please see Bittersweet post for some background)

The Executive Director was completely candid and open to all questions during the three and half hours that we met. It was a good thing because in front of the 12 or so people in attendance, I held him responsible for our defeat. Due to my ignorance and understanding of the No on 8 Campaign structure, I branded him as the face of the campaign. He understood that feeling, and it wasn’t the first time that he heard it. As it turns out he was one of seven individuals who formed the No on 8 Executive committee. Suffice it to say, in the three and a half hours that we met I learned a TON about the campaign. Most of which it would be irresponsible of me to comment on or publish on this blog. The only three things that I will mention are:

1. My shock to hear that no one person was ultimately responsible for the $40 million, No on 8 campaign.
2. No one believes that there are any threats to the 18,000 gay and lesbian couples who chose to get married when they had the legal right to.
3. I am slightly more optimistic that the court will rule that Prop 8 was unconstitutional.

After the meeting I had the opportunity to meet the Executive Director and apologize to him for holding him personally responsible. Although he shoulders some of the blame, after learning what I did about the campaign, there is enough of it to go around.

Scratching My Head AGAIN

What did the liberals and many in the GLBT community think?

BARACK OBAMA IS A POLITICIAN!

Let me repeat that.

BARACK OBAMA IS A POLITICIAN!

And here we go one last time,

BARACK OBAMA IS A POLITICIAN!

Since the news broke that our President Elect chose Rick Warren to offer the invocation at the inauguration, a firestorm amongst the GLBT and liberal organizations has broke out. (I’ve got some emails to prove it, asking me to take action.) I can certainly understand the frustration and deep disappointment by many who contributed and worked tirelessly for Mr. Obama’s campaign, but once again and IMO, the leadership of the traditional GLBT organizations look sophomoric, out of touch, and without a grasp of what type of impact and influence they actually have.

I laugh now at this firestorm as I did back during the campaign when we, the volunteers of the campaign, would convey the message that Mr. Obama was against Prop 8. The truth is this.

Our President Elect is AGAINST gay "marriage".

He has gone on record saying that! He may espouse his belief in the equality of gays and lesbians but so far they are just words. Time will tell what type of President he will be, just as time will tell whether my life and my future relationships will ever be equally recognized and respected, with the same equal rights and protections as those of my straight friends, throughout our great nation.

I voted for our President Elect and I stand by my vote. He was the better candidate on a whole host of issues. Beyond the one meeting that I attended with respect to his campaign, (please see W:-)A:-(W post) I did not contribute a dime nor expend an ounce of time to support him. (all my time and money went to the fight for my state rights) This episode takes me back to a comment made by one of the liberal activists at that meeting and I’m paraphrasing, "that Mr. Obama had to be more moderate now to win, but once he won, he would shift way back to the left and become a very liberal President." LOL because some people just don't get American politics.

Lastly, to the HRC or EQCA leadership, have you talked to Mr. Warren? Or as our President Elect is open to doing, have we talked to those with different viewpoints.

According to the online CNN article Rick Warren wasn't always a lightning rod for controversy

Warren himself is working to contain the fallout from his support for California's Proposition 8. In an interview set to air this week, he denied that his stand against same-sex marriage meant he was homophobic.

"Of course not. I have always treated them with respect," he said. "When they come and wanna talk to me, I talk to 'em. When the protesters came, we served them water and doughnuts."

Although I find great humor in Mr. Warren's equating respect with a talk, water, and doughnuts, conversations with him and his like need to take place.

And make no mistake about it,

BARACK OBAMA IS A POLITICIAN

and he has already begun his campaign for re-election!

Tis the Season

Ho ho ho the holidays are near and I’m throwing a party. (actually co-hosting one with a friend of mine) It’s obviously a holiday themed party and because of our location will be cleverly decked out.

I still consider myself new to the city so I find it a bit humbling, yet gratifying that I’m in a position to host. For me, the party represents a way to give back and say thanks to those individuals who have welcomed me into their community over the last few months. We decided to invite people whom we consider friends and we welcomed them to bring a friend or two. (sorry acquaintances)

In preparation for our celebration of the 12 Days of Christmas and the 8 Crazy Nights of Chanukah my co-host and I went shopping with a friend of ours for five hours yesterday and would up buying most of our decorations and booze. I had a lot of fun, but by the end of the night realized that we may have a problem. After sampling most of the drinks, with two other friends, that we were to make for our party, the problem is that not many of them were all that tasty. Since there are not a whole lot of Chanukah cocktails that I’m aware of, am I going to be stuck serving only The Chosen Beer?




And here's a really cool light display originating from Arizona to the tune of Wizards in Winter.

Impact Equality Saturday

Despite my prior comment on the issue of rallies and marches, I did participate in the Nationally organized Impact rally in Los Angeles this past Saturday.

Took my first trip on the LA Metro system to downtown


IMO the best speaker was Eric Lee from the SCLC

Crowd and Signs

IMO the best sign of the day

My sister and brother-in-law attended the rally in Orlando, FL (love you guys)




These last three are from the rally in Phoenix, AZ. I was proud to read online that there were around 2,000 people who attended. To any of my family or friends who may have responded to my invite and attended, thanks!

Wanna Bet

From my experience in the straight, athletic world this is what I would call bulletin board material.

"They had everything in the world going for them this year, and they couldn't win," said Frank Schubert, co-manager of the Yes on 8 campaign in California. "I don't think they're going to be any more successful in 2010 or 2012." From the AP article Across Nation, Gay Advocates Protest Marriage Ban By Jay Lindsay 11/15/08

Frank, you are right on in your first quote and I've already opined about our failed leadership. As for your second; with new leadership, a new resolve, and committed ACTION by OUR COMMUNITY, you haven't seen anything yet.

So please remember that quote! And Frank, thanks for the challenge.

Life Moves Onward & Upward

The WeHo Rally (11/5/08)

The Mormon Temple Rally & March (11/6/08)


The Silver Lake Rally & March (11/8/08)


Having supported and participated proudly in the above three I am done with rallies and marches for the foreseeable future. I believe they have served their immediate purpose and I am done listening to our community shaming everybody except ourselves. With that being said, I am extremely hopeful that this defeat will be our communities wake-up call to ACTION. I hope that the passion, pride, and participation displayed over the last few days will be there over the next 2 to 4 years as we prepare and WORK to take this issue back to the voters. (I am no legal expert but I am doubtful the courts will rule in our favor and overturn the 11/4 vote.)

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After the rally on Saturday I went out to dinner with some friends in Silver Lake where we decided to join up later at night with another one of their friends at some guys costume, birthday party at a roller skating rink. (was told it was a straight party made up primarily of aspiring actors and actresses) Since we didn’t have any costumes, a good friend of mine I’ll call Gene suggested that we go find some ribbons and create some outfits based on a Xanadu theme. (Beyond hearing the Xanadu song at the rink, I still have no clue as to the concept of our costumes and how they related to Xanadu.) Anyway, we each chose a color and since I was wearing blue jeans and blue CK boxer briefs I decided on the color blue. We stopped by Ralphs, a grocery store, where we got some free ribbons from the balloon department. Next stop was another friend’s house where we tied the ribbons around our upper arms and head, and where I received a blue, sleeveless, camouflage shirt in size S to complete my outfit. (I’m not sure if it’s funny or sad, but I felt good, or at least I thought I looked good in my costume when I was wearing it. Having since seen the pictures, I keep wondering what I was thinking wearing what I did.) We got to the rink at about midnight and skated, mingled, and had a great time for the next 2 and a half hours.


Since there were no other gays in attendance, or so I was told by my friend who has an astute gaydar, I began chatting up this girl. After about 5 minutes Gene came swooping in to cock block me. It was so funny and I knew what he was doing at the time. Gene knows most of my story and he’s been my second gay mentor. Over the last 8 weeks or so he has taught me quite a bit, challenged me to participate in new experiences, and overall helped me loosen up. (at least a little) He’s a guy who is just so comfortable in his skin and I admire the heck out of it. I know I’ve made some strides over the last few months but I am nowhere close to being at his comfort level. Anyway, Gene knew what he was doing when he cut in, and we laughed about it 15 minutes later. Roller skating was awesome. It took about a half hour and a second pair of skates for me to become comfortable on them again, but once I did I had a blast. To top it all off, in the 2.5 hours that we were there, I only fell on my ass once. And that was only because I thought it would be cute to jump in front of a picture being taken of my friends as we were skating out on the rink. Clearly I got what I deserved and did not make the picture.

On Sunday afternoon, I went down with a friend to Santa Monica with the intent on renting bicycles to ride to Venice. Unfortunately, when we arrived the rental shop was not renting bikes due to the high winds. We left the beach area and decided to have lunch and walk around and window shop the Shops on 3rd St. Promenade. During our late lunch we learned that my friends family was on the pier. As the sun set on the chilly afternoon, we bought some Hot Chocolate from Leonidas and walked back down to the pier. I met my friend’s family and they bought us all tickets to ride the relatively new Ferris wheel on the pier. It was dark, cold, and windy up at the top, but the views were great and it was a fun experience.



And Life Moves Onward & Upward!

Bob Sinclar-"Love Generation"

"Why must the children play in the street, broken hearts and faded dreams.
Peace and love to everyone that you meet. Don't you worry it could be so sweet.
Just look to the rainbow, you will see, the sun will shine to eternity.
I've got so much love in my heart, no one can tear it apart.
Be the love generation!"

ADDITION & APOLOGY: BITTERsweet

I wanted to pass on some additional information that I have uncovered, exit polling from L.A., and share it with you in regards to something I posted last week. I never blamed certain ethnic groups but I did question them by writing the following:

“So why? Why Blacks, why Hispanics, why Jews? For people who have experienced so much discrimination and unequal rights through the years, why were you so quick to deny others of theirs?”

NEW DATA :

How did you vote on the following: Prop. 8, Eliminates Right of
Same-Sex Couples to Marry. Initiative Constitutional Amendment?

Region Ethnicity
All Non-valley Valley White Hispanic Black Asian

N = 1200(100%) (62%) (38%) (55%) (24%) (15%) (6%)

Yes 30% 32% 27% 18% 50% 47% 36%
No 57% 54% 62% 75% 39% 40% 50%
Didn't vote 1% 2% 0% 0% 3% 3% 1%
No response 11% 12% 10% 7% 8% 10% 14%
Total 99% 100% 99% 100% 100% 100% 100%

(C) 2008 Leavey Center for the Study of Los Angeles Presidential
General Election Exit Poll in the City of Los Angeles. Preliminary results as of November 4, 2008 at 6:00 p.m. Margin of error is +/-
2.8% for All category.

In addition, the Leavey Center reports that while many religious organizations supported Proposition 8, there was one major exception in Los Angeles, according to exit polling by the Leavey Center for the Study of Los Angeles at Loyola Marymount University . The center's data found that 78% of Jewish voters in L.A. opposed the ban on gay marriage and just 8% supported Prop. 8. More on the polling and the methodology here. (By the way, Leavey found that "Los Angeles Jewish voters gave Obama 78% to 20% for Republican John McCain. Among all voters in L.A., 72% voted for Obama and 24% for McCain.")

This information is just another data point, but I would like to apologize to my fellow tribesmen and women, at least here in L.A., for questioning their commitment to equality!

BITTERsweet

On Saturday August 9, 2008 I felt for the first time second class. (see A Mile High and Equally Distant post) On Tuesday, November 4, 2008 I became second class as my civil rights and the afforded equal opportunities here in the state of California were taken away, and discrimination was codified in the constitutions of both the State of California and the State of Arizona.

Who would have thought that on a day where America would elect it’s first African American candidate to the office of President of the United States, it would be the African American community, more than any other voting group, who would vote resoundingly here in California for the discrimination of others. According to Associated Press exit polls, 7 in 10 black voters backed proposition 8. According to the LA Times, blacks represented 10% of the voters. So of the 10,157,038 voters (# will change as the last of the ballots are counted) who cast a ballot, roughly 1,015,703 were black. Of those, 710,992 voted for discrimination while 304,711 voted for equality. A difference of 406,281 votes. (the difference in Prop 8 was around 500,000 votes)

"Today was an affirmation that this is a new world, a new day," said Danny Bakewell, publisher of the Los Angeles Sentinel, the city's oldest black newspaper. "America has risen to the reality that the old days are dead, people are truly created equally and what you do in this world depends on your ability to overcome your personal challenges." (LA Times online-11/5/08)

I researched Mr. Bakewell’s paper and I came away surprised. On the issue of Prop 8 the Los Angeles Sentinel editorialized:

"Proposition 8- Would amend the California constitution to state that only a marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

The Sentinel does not support this proposition. Courts have established that marriage is a right for all couples. The California constitution should guarantee the same freedoms and rights to everyone; no group should be treated differently. California statutes identify nine real differences between marriage and domestic partnerships. Only marriage provides the security that spouses provide one another."

So why? Why Blacks, why Latinos, why orthodox, conservative, and Persian Jews? For people who have experienced so much discrimination and unequal rights through the years, why did so many of you vote to deny others of theirs?

I’m angry! But, contrary to what you might think, I’m not angry at the above ethnic groups or even the Mormons. (as twisted as it sounds I admire the Mormons in how galvanized they became on this issue.) Who I’m angry with are the Gays, Equality California, and the leadership team of the No on 8 campaign.

I attended the rally yesterday evening in West Hollywood and was quite pleased with the turnout and passion demonstrated. A few protest marches even ensued after the rally. But my question is this, where were most of the Gays when they were needed before the vote? While I understand and appreciate the spontaneity and disgust that fueled the passions of last night, I find it disgraceful that so many Gays in attendance and throughout the state did either nothing, or very little, to ensure that their rights would not be taken away.

As for Equality California and the leadership team of the No on 8 campaign, PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR LETTERS OF RESIGNATION NOW! In life one must be held accountable for their actions and those results, and throughout this campaign the leadership team of the No on 8 campaign failed miserably. Their failed leadership is as clear as these two emails that many of us received throughout the campaign:

Received on October 14th

Dear Adam,

The latest tracking polls show that if the election were held today among voters who have seen both our ads and the other side’s ads that we would WIN!
Unfortunately, we don’t have sufficient funds to get our ads seen by all the voters who’ve seen the other side’s ads.  So it’s that simple…without more funds we’ll lose. 
But we will win if we have enough money to reach voters. So DONATE NOW!
A powerful array of motivated groups have organized against us. Yesterday’s Sacramento Bee reported that:
“Mormons…have emerged as the leading financial contributors to the controversial Nov. 4 ballot measure. Church members have donated about 40 percent of the $22.8 million raised to pass the initiative since July.”
What is also unfortunate is that only 30,000 people have donated to the No on 8 campaign compared to the 60,000 who have donated to the other side.  
In a state with about two million LGBT people, in a country with millions more and tens of millions of straight allies, we have to get everyone to support this fight. If every LGBT person donates we can win!
Yesterday’s Sacramento Bee also reported on the sacrifices being made by members of the Yes on 8 campaign:
"That's why Auburn resident David Nielson, 55, is giving…He and his wife, Susan, live on a budget. The couple donated $35,000, he said, "because some things are worth fighting for."  The couple will forgo a vacation for the next two years and make other sacrifices to pay for their donation, he said.”
So, what is your equality worth to you? What is your equality worth to your friends and family? How much will you sacrifice for your own freedom?
We are running out of time.  We need your support now.  We need the support of your friends and family now.  DONATE NOW! FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO ALL OF YOUR CONTACTS!

In solidarity,

Executive Director

Equality California


Received on 11/4/2008

Dear Adam,

The polls are now closed. And whatever the outcome, history has already been made. 

Before the results are in, I wanted to thank each of you for all you have done to get us to this moment. 

No matter what happens, we should all be proud of what we have accomplished in this campaign. 

We have built the largest grassroots campaign in California history, with close to 100,000 donors. We have created the largest and most diverse coalition in history to advance the cause of equality. We have worked with incredible partner organizations who have stood with us each step of the way. And for the first time in any anti-gay ballot measure fight, we were not outspent.

EQCA was expected to raise $1 million from our members to defeat Prop 8, an amount close to our entire 2007 budget. But as you have always done, you have shattered all expectations. Together EQCA members have donated close to $14 million, more than a third of the entire amount raised to defeat Prop 8, making us the largest donor to the campaign by far! 

The EQCA staff has been all in, working around the clock on fundraising, field, media, web communications and so much more. And you, our members, have volunteered and served in leadership positions in every corner of our great state. 

Whatever the outcome – and I do believe we will win – we have moved Californians a remarkable amount from 2000 when Prop 22 was passed by a margin of 61% to 39%. 

And together, we have moved California from a state where LGBT people had no rights, to the state with the most rights in the nation. We have passed an unprecedented 50 pieces of legislation to advance our rights over the past decade. We have moved the country from a place where domestic partnership and civil union seemed like a goal that was generations away to a country where marriage equality is gaining support in every state. 

Each of you is part of the most successful state LGBT organization and advancement of our rights that our nation has ever witnessed. It is truly remarkable.

Together, we have done amazing things.



I am forever grateful.

Executive Director

Equality California

It’s extremely disheartening to look back and read the above emails. Our leadership failed us and it was evident in their strategy, their preparation, their message, their organizational structure, and most importantly their ability to galvanize the community for whose rights they have always worked so hard to advance. By the time they got their act together in mid to late October, failure was virtually assured. It was reported in the LA Times that 18% of Los Angeles County and 29% of Orange County voters voted early. The Yes side carried both those counties and overall their campaign kicked our ass. I could cite a litany of additional issues I’ve had with the campaign but at this point it would do no good. The only question that I’d like to pose publicly is this;

Why were there no Gay people or Gay couples in any of the official No on 8 ads?

I take little comfort in the claims that we have advanced the movement since 2000 when the vote was 61% to 39%. (52% to 48% this year) How could you claim advancement when our own campaign did not offer a single ad featuring a Gay, married couple demonstrating what our equal relationships look like? Regardless, the bottom-line is this, WE LOST RIGHTS THAT WE LEGALLY HAD! PERIOD! Time may be the answer, but tomorrow is never a guarantee.

As for me, I’m saddened, angry, but otherwise good. Life for me will progress and I will continue to step forward in my personal, professional, and philanthropic life. As I’ve said before, I feel blessed to have had this opportunity to come out at this time and in this place. I am a better man for having done so and I am pleased that I was able to contribute to a cause that is much greater than I.

I wanted to say thanks to my family, friends, and readers who responded to my emails, calls, and posts over the last few months and made a positive difference during this campaign. Equality is for all, and my fight for it has just begun. (Literrally, I'm off to go run the 5 miles down to the Mormon temple from WeHo for the 2:00PM press conference to go punch someone in the face. I just don't know if it will be a Gay or a Mormon. Equality for all! lol)

The VOTE 11/4/08

A few hours ago I completed my last pre-election LHC event, a small visibility rally at the corner of Santa Monica Blvd. and Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills during the evening commute.

A few hours from now I will rise (edit-it's 3:30 AM and I've been up since 1:30 AM. I can't sleep!) to captain a team of volunteers, at a polling location in Santa Monica, as we open with the polls at 7:00 AM.

I’m excited, I’m nervous, I’m relieved, I’m scared, I’m hopeful.

VOTE NO on Prop 102 in Arizona

VOTE NO on Prop 8 in California

VOTE NO on Prop 2 in Florida

Citizen Message


Celebrity Message


Comedic Message

A Sign?

This afternoon there was a small rally in West Hollywood for No on Prop 8 supporters. I decided to take the balloons that we used on our tabling nights because they added a presence and have been part of our efforts over the last few weeks. The balloons spell out NO ON 8.



I had the balloons filled earlier in the day after I attended a training session for my election day duties. (and fwiw, I will be working the polls in Santa Monica. The city from my Homo post.) However, by the time we got to the park the 8 was completely deflated and wouldn't rise. I hope, G-d willing, that it's a sign from above of things to come!

The rally lasted about 20 minutes. At the conclusion of the rally, many supporters then went on to become visible at a number of intersections throughout town. I participated at the corner of La Cienega and Santa Monica.



This was a neat experience to take part in, and to be honest I came close to shedding a tear on two occasions. During this mobilization I got chills listening to the constant sound of car horns, demonstrating their support for voting No on 8.

The Time is Now

“Some men see things as they are and ask, ‘why?’ Others dream things that never were and ask, ‘why not?’” -Robert Kennedy

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”-Martin Luther King Jr.

After another half day of scouting polling places today I learned that here in LA County the No on 8 campaign has only scouted around 55 out of a total of 400 locations. (my buddy and I did 18 of them) This is insane and the campaign is inept. Despite that, I ask that anyone in California who has the time over the next few days to PLEASE get in touch with your local office and ask to help scout polling places. This NEEDS to be done in order for the campaign to send out the 5,000 volunteers throughout the state to market the NO message on Tuesday. They also need volunteers to package the kits that will be given to those election day volunteers. (scouting can be done in the day, the kits could be done at night)

This is VITAL!!!!!

During my scouting today two things of note happened:

1. We saw a car that had a license plate holder that said, "Give Life and Let Live, Donate an Organ." Below the plate on the bumper was a Yes on 8 sticker. You may make your own judgements.

2. We went to a church that we believed was a polling site. There were about 30 Yes lawn signs outside the office and no employees were present. I grabbed the signs and we took off. After about 15 minutes my conscience got the best of me and we drove back to return them. I'm sorry G-d I got carried away in the moment.

Then tonight on the way to my group's meeting I noticed that most of the signs that I placed in the public right of ways near my neighborhood were taken down. HMMMM

"Call anyone you know in Arizona, California, and Florida and let your voice be heard!"-Adam

For Information and to Support No on Arizona’s Prop 102 please visit: http://www.votenoprop102.com/Default.aspx

For Information and to Support No on California’s Prop 8 please visit: http://noonprop8.com/home

For Information and to Support No on Florida’s Prop 2 please visit: http://www.votenoflorida.org/

"IN THE END, WE WILL REMEMBER NOT THE WORDS OF OUR ENEMIES, BUT THE SILENCE OF OUR FRIENDS." -Martin Luther King Jr.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

My final Friday night, No on 8 tabling event has come and gone and I think it was the best night yet. I had the largest number of volunteers working with me, the founders of our grassroots organization came by to take pictures of our presence (this is history folks and we’ve been asked to chronicle our activities), I was accused by two of my friends, who volunteered with me on Friday, that I was discriminatory and had a propensity to initiate conversations only with the hotties that passed by (that is so untrue), rumors were spread that I was wearing our LHC No on 8 t-shirt in a size XS despite the fact that I made it very clear that I was wearing a S :), but MOST IMPORTANTLY we signed up a great number of volunteers to promote the No on 8 message at polling sites on Election day. :-) That was our sole goal on Friday.

The campaign still needs volunteers, so if you reside in California or will be visiting California on November 4th and would like to help promote our equality message at polling sites on Election day please sign up here. ELECTION DAY VOLUNTEER

After working the corner, I and two said friends went to grab a bite at Swingers. (cool late night grub place) I enjoyed our conversation and it was a nice end to a great night.

Since we finally received our order of yard signs from the No on 8 campaign, I spent a good part of Saturday making sign deliveries to people who requested signs from us at the different events that our organization has put on over the last few months. Along with those requested orders, we also planted about 30 signs in key right of way locations, within 2 weeks of an election I’m told it is legal, including Sunset Blvd., Sunset Plaza, Beverly Hills, Hancock Park, Melrose, etc... During this time we caught this old guy, who stopped his car in the middle of the street near Hancock Park, taking down a No on Prop 8 sign that was planted in a median. We pulled up next to him, honked, we both rolled down our windows and we said, “What the hell.” He said, “It was illegal to place these signs in public areas.” We said, “You are wrong,” and I then called him a bigot! He drove away and we made sure to place more signs on the same street.

I finally had the opportunity to visit dear friends of our family, who I grew up with and have known for many years, on Sunday. (mom and two daughters, one a year older than I and one a year younger) They now live in Escondido and I went to see them, along with older daughter’s husband, kids, and their family friends. It was another great day and they couldn’t have been more caring, loving, and happy for me. What I didn’t like was seeing about 8 Yes on prop 8 signs scattered throughout their neighborhood. I left them with 4 No on prop 8 signs and as I was leaving their neighborhood I thought about yanking the Yes signs. It was only a quick thought for two reasons. I’m better than that, and I want their neighbors to know exactly who supports civil discrimination and the removal of equal rights from their fellow Californians.

On Monday I scouted polling places with another friend of mine to determine how many No supporters we needed to send to each polling place to help convey our message and remind voters to Vote No on Prop 8.

Lastly I had the conversation with two other close friends of mine on Monday night whom I unfortunately did not have the opportunity to speak with when I was back in Phoenix in September. The conversation went great and I’ll once again convey how blessed I am to have such wonderful family and friends. I look forward to getting together with them when I return to Phoenix for Thanksgiving.

A Hoot of a Hump Day

Morning

I lost my bet to Z and saw him for the first time at the gym on Monday. I approached him on Monday and told him that I owed him something for losing the bet. He smiled, took his right hand and briefly placed it on my left arm and said it was okay and not necessary for me to fulfill my obligation. It was this conversation that I had been planning for weeks, and I screwed it up. (I felt like such a loser) Hence, I did not ask him out on Monday. So yesterday, I saw Z at the gym again. We were both doing ab exercises, so we frequented some of the same equipment. Early on in my workout I waited on a piece of equipment that Z was on. So I waited about 10 feet from him, with my back towards him, and stood there patiently for him to finish. When he was done with the machine, he again grabbed my left arm and told me the machine was mine. I thanked him and moved on. When Z was done with his workout, a new experience occurred. He initiated some spoken words to me. He said something to the affect of, "goodbye and I’ll see you later." What struck me was that this was the first time that he spoke to me without I having initiated. Progress?

Afternoon

Who knew that my title for Monday’s post “Gone Hollywood” would foretell what I was to experience, in support of the No on 8 campaign, on Wednesday afternoon. All I can add at this point is ...............................................

Evening

I spent a few hours phone banking for the No on Prop 8 campaign. It was encouraging to see a huge turnout of volunteers show up to work the phones. That’s a change and I hope it’s indicative of a turning point in the campaign. Twelve days and counting.....................................

After phone banking I met two of my friends out for dinner/drinks at a local bar that does tranny bingo. (One of them has been praising this bingo night, numbers called out by a tranny, for some time) Since it was my first time there, both of them wanted nothing more than to see me win a game. Why? So my uptight arse would be forced to go on up and see the tranny. I didn’t win any games but it was an experience nonetheless.

Lastly, here’s my new favorite song.

Ercola-”Every Word” (featuring Daniella)

Shocked and Saddened

Despite being a firm believer in the Pareto Principle (the 80/20 rule), I was still shocked and saddened to read the following yesterday from an email I received from Equality California:

"What is also unfortunate is that only 30,000 people have donated to the No on 8 campaign compared to the 60,000 who have donated to the other side.

In a state with about two million LGBT people, in a country with millions more and tens of millions of straight allies, we have to get everyone to support the fight. If every LGBT person donates we can win!"

You got to be fucking kidding me! If California's LGBT citizens could care less about Prop 8, why should anyone else? If you are LGBT, living in California, reading Stand Straight, and you still haven't given........PLEASE MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

$10, $20, $100....... GIVE SOMETHING!

If every LGBT citizen in the state of California would have given $15, (that's FIFTEEN DOLLARS) the money raised and more importantly the message sent would have been a powerful statement to our state, and the country at large, that our CIVIL RIGHTS are not negotiable. Instead, less than 1.5% of the LGBT community here in California thought it was important enough to provide monetary support and hence we find ourselves behind in the polls. (the number is even smaller than 1.5% because many straight and out of state people have supported the No campaign)

To donate today, please click here..... DONATE NOW

Please help out! I don't want to wonder why it is the few who always seem to shoulder the burden for the many. Especially when so much is at stake for all of us on November 4th.

No on 8 Gala

Last night the Gala that I first told you about in the "I'm Flattered" post took place. What a great night. The celebrity gala was held at the Skybar at the Mondrian hotel on the Sunset Strip. The event was a sell out! We had over 600 people in attendance, both straight and gay, who attended to have a good time and show their support for the “NO ON 8” campaign. I’m pleased to report that we raised a significant amount of money. :-)

I am pleased that I was able to contribute in a significant way to the success of the event, but at the same time I am selfishly a tiny bit disappointed that I wasn’t able to really enjoy the event. I led a group of about 35 volunteers whose role and responsibilities were vital to the number one reason why the event was held. The event went from 6:00PM until 10:00PM, and based on the initial schedule our job should have been done by 8:45PM. Unfortunately, the mayor of Los Angeles was late and screwed up the whole schedule. (to his credit the mayor did make up for his tardiness in a big way when he arrived) Subsequently, I had no time to really mix and mingle and I only got a chance to meet a few guys. (However, many of the young volunteers who worked for me were cute and I do have their phone numbers....hmmmm) One guy who I met on Friday, and then got a chance to speak with more in depth last night was Evan Wolfson . He is a prominent civil rights attorney who has been instrumental in the marriage equality issue for over 25 years. It was great to talk with a guy, who was called one of Time magazines most influential people in 2004, who has had such a profound and positive impact on so many people's lives throughout his career.

Here are some pictures from the event. The first is mine and the rest are from wire image.

General Gala Pictures



Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa

Eric McCormack and Loni Anderson (Will and Grace, Burt Reynolds)

Dana Delany (Desperate Housewives)

Heather Tom (Bold and the Beautiful)

One final note to add is the song that was on my sat radio when I pushed the start button after receiving my keys from the valet at 11:00PM. The song is below and I thought it fit the fight for Prop 8 and the evening beautifully. Here in California that day is today, and I hope and pray that day continues on November 5th.

Bob Sinclar-”Together”

Uncovering K P R

On Wednesday I received an email from an old friend of mine I’ll call Mr. Tigerliver. He had read some of Stand Straight since I made it available to my family and friends and had a suggestion. He suggested that,

“You might want to edit some of that if you still want to run for Congress! Some of it is fairly graphic, and not because of orientation... more based on detail, word choice, and that fact that your mom reads it.”

I posted the "Dear Family and Friends" post on a Thursday and I emailed my family and friends during that weekend, so I did give some final consideration to Mr. Tigerliver’s subsequent suggestion before I even emailed it out. (as well as even having second thoughts about opening it up at all) After a whole lot of thought, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be true to myself, and my initial intent, and allow the blog to speak for my life in all it’s unedited rawness.

So on Wednesday I received Mr. Tigerliver’s email and on Wednesday night the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur began. Yom Kippur is our 25 hour period of atonement and from what I learned from the rabbi during our services, variations of the word go back to the root of the Hebrew letters k p r. (kaf/pey/resh) Our rabbi said that multiple meanings embedded with these letters include; to cover or to conceal. On Yom Kippur we are asked to afflict ourselves and to confront the wounds that we caused by our sins. Yom Kippur then offers us protection like a cover against the punishment of G-d on the day when the book of life and death is sealed for another year.

As I sat in the synagogue and listened to the rabbi’s discussion about the meanings of Yom Kippur I was drawn back to Mr. Tigerliver’s email and his suggestion of editing Stand Straight. I believe editing is a form of covering and concealing and I know I did that for far too long. So I emailed him back,

“So to your suggestion the answer is NO! When I run for congress I will be an open book. The honest truth. Voters will either like and respect that or they won’t. (with my new attitude I don’t give a shit)”

I hope that my life and blog will help all of us learn about each other and our collective futures. Coming out later in life gives me, so I believe, a different perspective on what it is like being gay in America today. (compared to many gays who I believe have been mentally and emotionally beaten down, and as such may believe they are second class, through the years by attitudes like those exposed in the article below from the Yes on 8 campaign here in California) I believe the only difference between a gay and straight person is whom G-d CREATED that individual to be SEXUALLY attracted to. As such, I’ll be damned if I am going to accept having any less rights or opportunities than all of my straight friends. (According to the U.S. GAO there are over 1,000 different rights at stake with the term Marriage)

SAN FRANCISCO, October 11 – In the same week that the No on 8 campaign launched an ad that labeled as “lies” claims that same-sex marriage would be taught in schools to young children, a first grade class took a school-sponsored trip to a gay wedding.  Eighteen first graders traveled to San Francisco City Hall Friday for the wedding of their teacher and her lesbian partner, The San Francisco Chronicle reported.  The school sponsored the trip for the students, ages 5 and 6, taking them away from their studies for the same-sex wedding.  According to the Yes on 8 campaign, the public school field trip demonstrates that the California Supreme Court's decision to legal same-sex marriage has real consequences.  



"Taking children out of school for a same-sex wedding is not customary education.  This is promoting same-sex marriage and indoctrinating young kids," said Yes on 8—ProtectMarriage.com Campaign Co-Manager Frank Schubert.  "I doubt the school has ever taken kids on a field trip to a traditional wedding," Schubert said.  



When asked by the Yes on 8 campaign, The San Francisco Chronicle reporter said she did not know if the school had ever sponsored a field trip for students to a traditional wedding.  Telling the Chronicle that the field trip was "a teachable moment," the school's principal believes it is perfectly appropriate for first graders to attend a same-sex wedding.  Officials in other school districts disagree.  



"Prop. 8 protects our children from being taught in public schools that 'same-sex marriage' is the same as traditional marriage," said Santa Ana Unified School District board member Rosemarie "Rosie" Avila.  "We should not accept a court decision that results in public schools teaching our kids that gay marriage is okay.  That is an issue for parents to discuss with their children according to their own values and beliefs.  It shouldn't be forced on us against our will," Avila added.



The lesbian teacher's wedding was officiated by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom.  Newsom is featured in a Yes on 8 television ad, released last week, in which he arrogantly declares of same-sex marriage:  "The door's wide open now.  It's gonna happen, whether you like it or not.

"

The Yes on 8 campaign's ads explain that if the voters do not overturn the California Supreme Court's same-sex marriage ruling, teachers will be required to teach young children that there is no difference between gay marriage and traditional marriage.  “It's totally unreasonable that a first grade field trip would be to a same-sex wedding," said Chip White, Press Secretary for Yes on 8.  "This is overt indoctrination of children who are too young to understand it.”  The field trip underscores the Yes on 8 campaign’s message that unless Prop. 8 passes, children will be taught about same-sex marriage in public schools.  “Not only can it happen, it has already happened,” White said.

I’m not going to argue or debate the merits of taking a first grade class trip to a gay wedding (it IS debatable even though we are at a historic CIVIL rights moment in our nation’s history), but I believe the undercurrent of ignorance, prejudice, discrimination, and hate is very apparent in many of the quotes throughout the Yes On 8 press release.

As for my further uncovering, I have taken what Mr. Tigerliver and others have expressed to heart. (because I know they care and are looking out for me) Will it influence my future postings? I don't know. What I do know is that exposure and education allows a society to advance. I hope through my writing, I have contributed to that in some small way.

Finally A Weekend of WeHo Firsts

Finally I went out extremely confident! :)
Finally I felt like I belonged! :-)
Finally I brought home my first cute guy! :-D

Friday

I arrived at Eleven around 10:30pm. I’m beginning to think there is a reason why they call it Eleven and that is there is no reason to arrive there before 11:00. One of these days I won’t be so excited to arrive early. (fwiw, this was my first night out since I arrived back in WeHo because I have been fighting a cold for the past two weeks.) The crowd was a bit sparse and there was plenty of room to move around. I once again went out alone, and this time it was my choice. As crazy as it now sounds, I actually enjoy going out to gay bars, not clubs, alone. (more on that later)

I’ve touched on this a little before but throughout most of my life I have never liked having pictures taken of me. In addition, I have never liked looking at pictures of myself. (you will not find any pictures of me displayed in open view throughout my apartment.) Like many people, the image I saw of myself in a photo, or the mirror for that matter, was different from what others saw of me. It was never because I didn’t think I was attractive, because I do think I’m around a 7.8 on a 10 scale, (haha) but I believe it was because I never really loved myself. (especially the last 8 years) With all of that said the last two weeks were amazing. Between all of the compliments that I received from my closest friends in how great I looked and how happy I appeared, to seeing what I actually looked liked with the photos I posted online, I just never really knew or maybe ever believed. That’s all changed!!!!!! (and fully coming out certainly played a HUGE part in it as well)

So on Friday night I looked damn good and knew it! I was mentally prepared, and it was my full intention to be the one to initiate conversations for the night. As luck would have it, I didn’t need to initiate any at all. (and for those keeping track, I wore a Lacoste slim fit polo shirt with 2 of the 3 top buttons buttoned and a pair of Diesel jeans.) I arrived and went straight to the bar to get a drink. I then proceeded to walk around a bit to see the clientele and subsequently settled on a spot to call home for the next 20 minutes. When I passed these three guys on my walk, I overheard one of them say, “he’s hot!” So when I stopped, I noticed that they were checking me out for quite some time. When it was time for me to replenish my drink I made sure to go to the bar a few feet in front of them. I got to the bar and overheard them talking about me. So I leaned over the bar and stuck out my arse to give them a good shot. haha I got my drink and went back to the area where I had been. To be honest, I was just waiting for them to make their move. After about 20 minutes one of them came over. He said, “Hi. One of my friends, the one who was interested in yours truly, wanted to know where you’re from.” So I responded, “Hi. That’s an odd question, does he believe he knows who I am.” He replied, “No. He was just curious.” Anyway, I answer his question and we spoke for about 10 minutes. Then his other two friends, including the one who was interested, approached. We all spoke for a little bit but I wasn’t interested. They invited me up to the second floor with them but I passed.

Then another guy approached. He came to the bar with his roommate who didn’t seem to be having a good time. I’ll call him Brazil. (he’s from Brazil via Boston) Brazil was a nice guy and we had decent conversations on two separate occasions. I was not physically attracted to Brazil but I thought there may be a possibility for us to become friends. So I actually gave him my number. (after speaking with a friend I think this may have been a bad idea since I may have led him to believe something different) Early Saturday morning I received a text message from Brazil that read,

“Nice meeting you tonight Adam. Thought u looked great btw. Remember don’t change your style!”

I have not responded to his text yet because I’m not sure what to say. Anyway.

Then two other guys approached. One of the guys opening line was, “You have nice hair.” So I replied, “Thanks. I’m just glad I still have some.” We spoke briefly and the guy thought I looked like Hugh Grant. haha Anyway when the opening line guy got caught up in another conversation I turned to his friend and said, “I thought that was an odd opening line what does he mean?” So he replied, “my friend likes you.” Once again I wasn’t interested, but I was intrigued by one of their friends who was introduced to me at the end of our conversation. Said friend had an Asian background and a great body. All these guys then moved on and Brazil came back. Throughout most of the time I was with Brazil I and Said Asian friend were looking each other up and down from a distance. It was great fun and part of me assumed and hoped that Brazil noticed that and took that as a sign that I wasn’t physically attracted to him.

Anyway, Brazil and his unhappy roommate left and I then made my way to the other side of the bar by the stairwell. No sooner did I stop, a girl walks by and tells me that I should unbutton the remaining two shirt buttons that I had buttoned. She thought I didn’t fit in. I looked at her with a scowl and should have slapped her silly. Then a really cute exotic looking guy approached from the bar. How does this sound; half Spanish, half Japanese, from Brazil, who now lives in London. (I’ll call him Brazlon)



Brazlon, you had me at hello. You had me at hello. (btw, I think I have a thing for guys with a little Asian in them) We talked and everything came so easy for me. It was a bit noisy where we were standing so he recommended that we go upstairs. I followed him to the back stairwell (I had no idea there was a back stairwell) and upstairs to the back room where we parked ourselves on some couches. We continued to flirt with one another when he tried to kiss. I pulled away and told him that I wasn’t ready to kiss another guy in public. We talked a little bit about each others experiences and then an acquaintance of mine walked past and we gave each other a hug and hello. I then sat back down and Brazlon and I continued to flirt and FINALLY my heart overpowered my mind and we started to kiss. I can’t recall what triggered my change in attitude nor who made the first move. All I can recall was how awesome it was. After kissing on the couch for sometime I then said to Brazlon, “let’s get out of here!” We walked downstairs where Brazlon tried to find his friend, but to no avail. We grabbed a cab and were heading home.

Brazlon spent the night and all I’m going to say is that I had an awesome time. It all just felt so right. Brazlon was great and it was so nice to wake up with him next to me.

Saturday

Due to the great night and morning I had, I was late meeting good friends of mine who live about 1.5 hours southeast of WeHo. (I was contemplating postponing the meeting with the excuse that “something came up” but our meeting was too important.) This was another coming out/update conversation and like all the others before them their reaction was wonderful. It was great to see them and their two beautiful little girls, great to bring them back into my life, and I really look forward to their future visits to WeHo.

For the first time in WeHo, I did not go out on a Saturday night.

Sunday

Ethan, a friend of mine, invited me out to dinner where we joined up with some of his friends. Had a nice meal, good conversation, and drank a bit too much wine. (first time I’ve drank wine out since I’ve arrived) After dinner we decided to go check out Area. (supposedly the club to be at on Sunday nights)

To be honest, my experience at Area was So-So. The negative So about my experience at Area was that I thought the music stunk and the place didn’t seem that crowded. The positive So were the conversations I had and the two guys I saw.

On the conversation front, I told Ethan about many of the tips that I’ve learned through my experience of navigating a gay bar by myself. When you’re by yourself, you learn to fine tune your senses of sight and sound. These senses are key as you make your way through the crowds of the hot and not so hot. I also conveyed to him how much of an impact I thought the last few weeks have had on my confidence and attitude. Without a doubt, I am a different person. How different? Ethan thought a guy was cute, so as any good friend would do I went up to said cute guy and started a conversation. Ethan soon joined in on the conversation and by the end of the night they were dancing. :) (fwiw, I also thought he was cute)

It was the guys I saw that made for a fitting end to a great weekend! First up, Brazlon. :-) It was nice to see him again and to hear that his visit to WeHo was going well. Brazlon was there with three of his friends, so I introduced Ethan to Brazlon and Brazlon introduced us to his friends. Brazlon and I spoke for a little bit but that was it. What stoked my ego was hearing what Ethan thought of Brazlon. :-D

After our conversation with Brazlon and his friends, Ethan and I decided to walk around. It was here where I noticed Z and Z noticed me. haha I went up to him again, played ignorant in not remembering his name, and reintroduced myself. I then introduced Z to Ethan. We all spoke for a bit and I thought more progress was made. (he definitely knows who I am) When we left Z, Ethan says to me, “I didn’t realize how cute he was. You have good taste.” haha

What an end, make that beginning to a wonderful new year. L'Shana Tova! Happy New Year!


Switchfoot-”Dare You to Move”

Welcome to the Planet
Welcome to Existence
Everyone’s Here
Everyone’s Here
Everybody is watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next
I Dare you to Move
I Dare you to Move
I Dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

Why "Marriage" is Important

When I was a boy I grew up with the hopes and dreams that one day I would find love and be able to recognize that love like everybody else through “Marriage.” At that time, I clearly had the image that my love would be based upon what I had known, who I had seen, and what I wanted to be. My marriage, so I thought and had hoped, would be between myself and a woman. Unfortunately G-d did not create me in the image that I thought I would be. G-d created me in a different image. An image, like you, that of himself. Is that image not good enough? Is that image not equal?

Our communities, our States, and our Country are made up of a myriad of citizen images of his/her likeness. And when those images fall in love and want to honor their relationships they do that through “Marriage.” A “Marriage” where the two who are in love invite their friends and family to share in on the joy of their commitment. It is an event where the vows are made, the blessings fulfilled, and the union recognized in front of a welcoming and loving community, State, and Country. America would be a wonderful place if that were only true for all of her citizen’s images.

The image I have is of an America where equality, fairness, and shared opportunities exist for all. Unfortunately, that doesn’t exist today. Without question tremendous progress has been made on the fairness front, but can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and believe that equality and shared opportunities do exist? Do you really believe that “Domestic Partnerships” equate to “Marriage”?

They don’t, and by the mere fact of acknowledging “Domestic Partnerships” and “Marriage” in the same sentence I may be permitting the use of such as a viable option. “Domestic Partnership” and “Marriage” are not equal. Domestic Partnerships don’t provide the same security as marriage. We all know what it means to hear two lovers say, “we’re married!” Well when gay and lesbian people are not allowed to get married, the message that our society is telling us is that our relationships aren’t as important as yours. Do you really believe that? There are family planning differences, there are health care decision making differences, and there are financial planning and distribution differences, just to name a few. Do I not have the right to have an equally loving and recognized relationship within our community as you? I believe I DO, I believe YOU BELIEVE I do, and that’s why “Marriage” is so important. And what’s important to me is that you vote NO when propositions come up in your States that would write inequality and unfair treatment into their Constitutions. For many of you, that opportunity awaits you in November.

Arizona Proposition 102, known by its supporters as the Marriage Protection Amendment, is a proposed amendment to the Arizona Constitution that defines marriage as between one man and one woman. It will appear on the November 4, 2008 ballot in Arizona.
State law already prohibits same-sex marriage, and Arizona courts have upheld that ban. However, ban supporters contend it also needs to be in the Constitution in order to prevent future court rulings in favor of same-sex marriage.

California proposition 8 will appear on the November 4, 2008 ballot in California. It is variously known as the Protect Marriage Act, the Same-Sex Marriage Ban or the Limit on Marriage Amendment. If it passes, it will add a new constitutional amendment to the California Constitution that will have exactly the following text: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

When I moved to California in July I knew I would get involved in something, I just didn’t no what. To be honest, I never thought it would be with an organization fighting for the right to marry. Getting married was the furthest thing from my mind. But as I’ve learned through my experience in finally being real and living my life honestly, I’ve realized something. IMAGES MAY CHANGE BUT MY BEING YOUR EQUAL SHOULDN’T. Let us all work together to ensure that the boys and girls growing up today, regardless of how G-d created them, who dream of finding love and recognizing their relationship through “Marriage” truly have that right!