I don't have any cool gym sauna stories to tell (I'm not that confident yet), but I can report that I approached my first guy at the gym yesterday. lol (I'm sorry, but these last few days everything seems so funny, in a funny good kind of way) I have spoke with guys at the gym before, but they were all necessity comments like, "can you spot me." And I actually spoke with a woman the other day, but let's not go back, I'm stepping forward.
Anyway, so me and this other guy made eye contact quite a few times yesterday. As I am finding, looking at other guys and making the occasional eye contact happens all the time at the gym so I shouldn't have been so surprised. But in this case it seemed different. It was almost like one of us was waiting for the other to make a move. It was a bit surreal. :-D So he's working out his arms on a high cable machine about 8 feet behind me and I'm working out my chest doing incline dumbbell presses on a bench in front of him facing a mirror. I'm on my last set of 10 reps at 60 lbs. The last few reps were challenging. But what was interesting was that when I finished and sat up, I noticed through looking at the mirror, it appeared that he was approaching me as if to help and ensure I completed all of my reps. When I was done he turned around to go back to his machine. So he wasn't going to get dumbbells. He was a good looking dude, was shorter than I, was better built, and looked like he had no fat on him. HMM....so I thought. What was behind the meaning of his gym generosity and aborted approach? I then stayed at the same bench in front of the mirror to do dumbbell flys and he moved to the right of me to do dumbbell curls. Once again I began to laugh as I was doing my flys as I was thinking that I need to say something to him.
And I did. When I was done with my flys, dumbbell chest flys that is and not the one I see when I look towards the floor, I went up to him and asked him how strict he was with his diet because he was muscular and lean, but not really as thick as body builder muscular. (if that even makes sense) He had a great body! He was really at the limit of my attraction to muscle. He smiles and answers, and I'm paraphrasing his quote, "pretty strict where I watch what I eat but I'm not really anal about it." We both smiled and conversed for another 20 seconds or so and then we each went back to our workouts. We made eye contact off and on for the remainder of each of our workouts and that was that. It will be interesting to see what happens if we see each other again at the gym.
Good times, lots of laughs, and a workout to boot!
And on the walk home the following song came on the pod. Which of course made me think about the encore of my public hetero life while wondering what the hell was I waiting for on my homo life?
Linkin Park/Jay Z- "Numb/Encore"
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The Skin I'm In
Let’s just say that I am stoked for this upcoming weekend! First off, my weekend is fully booked. I am particularly excited about two of the events. The first is that I will be running in City of Hope's Underwear Affair on Saturday afternoon/evening.
I will be running a 10K (6.2 miles) in my boxer briefs and sneakers!!!
I am late to the game here in registering, and didn’t do any fundraising as required for this race, as I just learned about it, so I will make a fairly generous donation to a worthy cause knowing that what I give will come back to me at some point in the future. Beyond the public cause of fighting different cancers below the waist, this race, in the way the participants participate, holds some meaning for me in the strides I’ve made from an acceptance standpoint. I have posted a few times on it, but like many others I have had some issues with my self esteem through the years based on my body image. I still do today and can rattle off a list of things wrong with me on just about every part of my body from my feet to the hair on the top of my head. But I’m beginning to realize that flaws are okay and in most cases I can’t do anything about them. I’m also beginning to gain greater confidence from a physical standpoint having gone out a number of times here in weho. Physically, I know I can compete with 78% of the guys here. With this enlightenment, I have begun to gradually accept my body. So I’m going to run 6.2 miles without a shirt or shorts. Running as close to naked as one can legally get in front of so many other runners and spectators, in sunlight no less, to me is great progress. I laugh just thinking about it because this is something I NEVER would have done before. NEVER!
So
There’s bound to be other gay guys there so how are these for run-up lines:
I would love your help with any other run-up lines that I should use. It was great fun writing these but I don’t know if I have the balls to actually use them. LOL We’ll see. Also, which brands of underwear/briefs would be clear giveaways of another gay guy?
Suffice it to say, I have high hopes for this run as my expectation is that all the runners will look like these guys. It should be a fun time.
Then on Sunday the second event that I’m most excited about is my first pool party up in the Hollywood Hills. I was invited by a new friend of mine and I’m excited because I believe the crowd will skew a bit more professional/successful and there may be an opportunity to develop some local business/philanthropic contacts. Whatever happens I look forward to meeting some new people and having a good time. Along with showing and seeing some more skin of course.
Now if only I weren’t so pasty white. I digress! haha
I will be running a 10K (6.2 miles) in my boxer briefs and sneakers!!!
I am late to the game here in registering, and didn’t do any fundraising as required for this race, as I just learned about it, so I will make a fairly generous donation to a worthy cause knowing that what I give will come back to me at some point in the future. Beyond the public cause of fighting different cancers below the waist, this race, in the way the participants participate, holds some meaning for me in the strides I’ve made from an acceptance standpoint. I have posted a few times on it, but like many others I have had some issues with my self esteem through the years based on my body image. I still do today and can rattle off a list of things wrong with me on just about every part of my body from my feet to the hair on the top of my head. But I’m beginning to realize that flaws are okay and in most cases I can’t do anything about them. I’m also beginning to gain greater confidence from a physical standpoint having gone out a number of times here in weho. Physically, I know I can compete with 78% of the guys here. With this enlightenment, I have begun to gradually accept my body. So I’m going to run 6.2 miles without a shirt or shorts. Running as close to naked as one can legally get in front of so many other runners and spectators, in sunlight no less, to me is great progress. I laugh just thinking about it because this is something I NEVER would have done before. NEVER! So
Do I wear white or dark colored boxer briefs?
Will my briefs hold up after mile 1?
Do I go out and purchase special, ie homo brand, briefs just for this occasion? (right now I wear Calvins and Champion)
What will they look like drenched with sweat?
How bad will my swamp ass be?
What will my little guy do throughout the race and how will the air conditioning affect him?
They're timing the race, so do I run it with speed as a goal or do I take my time and just enjoy it?
Normally I pace myself to a cute guy with great calves. Is there another body part I should be admiring for this race? haha
There’s bound to be other gay guys there so how are these for run-up lines:
I’m tired of eating your dust, but yet I still find myself hungry....
Run for fun often, what else turns you on.......
Nice shoelaces!
For two miles now I’ve tried to C-N2 you. Why are you running away from me?
Are those your keys in your briefs or are you just sweaty to meet me?
I would love your help with any other run-up lines that I should use. It was great fun writing these but I don’t know if I have the balls to actually use them. LOL We’ll see. Also, which brands of underwear/briefs would be clear giveaways of another gay guy?
Suffice it to say, I have high hopes for this run as my expectation is that all the runners will look like these guys. It should be a fun time.
Then on Sunday the second event that I’m most excited about is my first pool party up in the Hollywood Hills. I was invited by a new friend of mine and I’m excited because I believe the crowd will skew a bit more professional/successful and there may be an opportunity to develop some local business/philanthropic contacts. Whatever happens I look forward to meeting some new people and having a good time. Along with showing and seeing some more skin of course.
Now if only I weren’t so pasty white. I digress! haha
Monday, July 28, 2008
W :-) A :-( W
What A Weekend!
To start off, and for those who have been reading awhile, the first song that came on my IPOD on Friday morning as I walked to the gym was It's Going to Be a Lovely Day by S.O.U.L.S.Y.S.T.E.M.
I told my sister and brother-in-law that I was gay on Friday evening. My prior post covers the flow and discussion of how the conversation went. And NO, I did not come out to my sister via that poem. I tried writing a recap of the evening on Saturday morning and I couldn’t piece anything together. I was lying in bed and then all of a sudden these lines started to flow from my brain and it all made sense. The only thing that I’ll add about our conversation is that my sister was completely surprised. Based on my life, she mentioned that she never gave it any thought that I might be gay. My brother-in-law was equally surprised although he mentioned that he became a bit curious when he learned of my address last week. They both were completely supportive, loving, and tremendously happy for me. I know it will take some time for all this to sink in for them as well as for me, but I am really glad that I told them. And at the end of dinner, we had Chinese food, on Friday night my fortune read, "You are one of those who will go places in life." Did my fortune mean to WEHO? haha
On Saturday afternoon I went to a platform event for the Obama campaign. In full disclosure, I attended this event as an Obama supporter to see how I could help the campaign out here in LA, but also to see if I could meet other guys. ;-) On both these fronts this meeting was such a waste of time. As it turned out, there were only about 15 people at the event. If that weren’t bad enough, the people who showed up appeared to be the liberal, left leaning plank of the democratic party. I consider myself a fiscal conservative, social liberal and in this meeting I found myself defending corporations. It was a really interesting meeting and I found myself scratching my head quite often. Anyway, there were no other cute guys there so I wonder whether volunteering for the Obama campaign is the best use of my time to meet other gay guys.
Saturday night was clearly the best night out that I’ve had since I’ve been here. One of the things that I thought I would never do myself was to go to a pure dance club. As I’ve mentioned in some prior posts, I have struggled with the mental picture of me dancing with another guy. So between that struggle, me not having the confidence in knowing how the game works in the gay scene, and not feeling comfortable enough to ask the few people I know here to go clubbing with me, I simply have stayed away. Until Saturday night. If Kathy Griffincoined the term Suck It, I am coining Fuck It!
So at 10:30pm I went to Cherry Pop at Suede. Once again I was a bit early as there were only about 30 people there when I entered. By 11:30pm the place was packed. And all I can is WOW! The place was oozing with HOT guys. Again WOW! I also believed I looked really good, and more importantly I felt looser and mentally okay. I smiled more, laughed more, and ultimately had a really good night. I spoke with more guys last night than I had any other night I had gone out. Although I was asked to dance by one of the guys I met, I still wasn’t quite ready to make it to the dance floor. I did move to the music more and when 2:00am rolled around I had a big grin as I thought to myself how close I was. I also had two other missed opportunity/learning experiences. There was this really cute guy who bumped into me twice, we made eye contact, he initiated apologies, and I replied generically. I realized right after that he bumped into me on purpose. I knew this based on how he bumped into me, the space around me, what he said, and how he said it. I was sooooooo angry with myself. I immediately went looking for him but couldn’t find him. The second experience was sustained eye contact. There were two guys that I was admiring for part of the night. They looked my way as well at times. So at one point, one of them was either coming back from the bar or bathroom and was walking towards his friend through the dance floor for about 20 feet. I noticed him early and we made eye contact. We sustained eye contact for his full walk back to his friend. I believe that meant something, and I should have met them both on the dance floor. Right? But I didn’t. I did meet someone else who was way into me and too complimentary. It was getting to the point where I felt he was trying way too hard and he was becoming very unattractive. We left together, but on the 30 minute walk home I realized that I wasn’t into him. He lives another three blocks east of me so I didn’t feel bad, nor did I ever lead him on. However, during this walk I experienced another surprising event. Not once, but twice did two separate cars with their windows down hurl some gay comments at us as we were walking on Santa Monica Blvd east of La Cienega. (which is about 2/3 of a mile east of the area where most of the bars and clubs are) I was shocked and surprised, but it didn’t really phase me. Honestly, I was trying to reconcile the timing of it all having just come out to my sister and trying to understand what the meaning behind this message was. However, the guy I was walking with made it a point to say that an incident like that is why he takes the cab and usually doesn’t walk home alone.
After reflecting on my night at Suede I can easily say that I am DEFINITELY going back. Who knows, maybe next time I will actually dance with a guy. (fwiw I really like to dance and was quite the dancer back in my fraternity days) It is becoming clearer to me that when I am fully comfortable and confident with myself again, I believe I am REALLY going to have some fun here in WEHO. I think I’m also done with putting pressure on myself for hooking up. Don’t get me wrong I really want to, and I have had a few opportunities to hook up since I got here. I passed on all of them because I wasn’t attracted to the guys that were attracted to me. Despite my need for more of these initial experiences, I do not believe I will fool around just for the sake of fooling around with a guy I have no interest in.
Sunday turned out to be a much more emotional day as the action of Friday started to sink in. I received a wonderful and heartfelt email from my sister in the morning as she visited our parents in Phoenix. It meant a great deal and I began to finally get emotional after I read it. A feeling of guilt then began to enter my mind in the mental energy I have now begun to place on those most important to me. The burden and work in a sense now shifts to them in understanding who the real and honest me is. I know I can’t control that, but that guilt is now omnipresent.
In the evening I spoke with my parents and sister. The conversation with my parents was a typical one but all I could think about was what was about to come. To know that in the not too distant future I am going to completely change their life and the image they have of their middle son. The conversation I had with my sister was a good one as I fought back my emotions. I am as concerned for her as she is for me in dealing with my new public reality. Ultimately, this will take time for all of us to grow in a positive fashion towards the future. But as I told her, from now on we have each other, fully and honestly, to support each other. I have provided her some resource information if she feels she needs it. She did mention that both she and my brother-in-law noticed a difference in me and thought I had a positive glow that they hadn't seen in a while. When I got off the phone is when I finally started to let go. :’( My climax to the realization of a thing called life.
S.O.U.L.S.Y.S.T.E.M.-"It's Going to Be A Lovely Day"
What a Weekend!
To start off, and for those who have been reading awhile, the first song that came on my IPOD on Friday morning as I walked to the gym was It's Going to Be a Lovely Day by S.O.U.L.S.Y.S.T.E.M.
I told my sister and brother-in-law that I was gay on Friday evening. My prior post covers the flow and discussion of how the conversation went. And NO, I did not come out to my sister via that poem. I tried writing a recap of the evening on Saturday morning and I couldn’t piece anything together. I was lying in bed and then all of a sudden these lines started to flow from my brain and it all made sense. The only thing that I’ll add about our conversation is that my sister was completely surprised. Based on my life, she mentioned that she never gave it any thought that I might be gay. My brother-in-law was equally surprised although he mentioned that he became a bit curious when he learned of my address last week. They both were completely supportive, loving, and tremendously happy for me. I know it will take some time for all this to sink in for them as well as for me, but I am really glad that I told them. And at the end of dinner, we had Chinese food, on Friday night my fortune read, "You are one of those who will go places in life." Did my fortune mean to WEHO? haha
On Saturday afternoon I went to a platform event for the Obama campaign. In full disclosure, I attended this event as an Obama supporter to see how I could help the campaign out here in LA, but also to see if I could meet other guys. ;-) On both these fronts this meeting was such a waste of time. As it turned out, there were only about 15 people at the event. If that weren’t bad enough, the people who showed up appeared to be the liberal, left leaning plank of the democratic party. I consider myself a fiscal conservative, social liberal and in this meeting I found myself defending corporations. It was a really interesting meeting and I found myself scratching my head quite often. Anyway, there were no other cute guys there so I wonder whether volunteering for the Obama campaign is the best use of my time to meet other gay guys.
Saturday night was clearly the best night out that I’ve had since I’ve been here. One of the things that I thought I would never do myself was to go to a pure dance club. As I’ve mentioned in some prior posts, I have struggled with the mental picture of me dancing with another guy. So between that struggle, me not having the confidence in knowing how the game works in the gay scene, and not feeling comfortable enough to ask the few people I know here to go clubbing with me, I simply have stayed away. Until Saturday night. If Kathy Griffincoined the term Suck It, I am coining Fuck It!
So at 10:30pm I went to Cherry Pop at Suede. Once again I was a bit early as there were only about 30 people there when I entered. By 11:30pm the place was packed. And all I can is WOW! The place was oozing with HOT guys. Again WOW! I also believed I looked really good, and more importantly I felt looser and mentally okay. I smiled more, laughed more, and ultimately had a really good night. I spoke with more guys last night than I had any other night I had gone out. Although I was asked to dance by one of the guys I met, I still wasn’t quite ready to make it to the dance floor. I did move to the music more and when 2:00am rolled around I had a big grin as I thought to myself how close I was. I also had two other missed opportunity/learning experiences. There was this really cute guy who bumped into me twice, we made eye contact, he initiated apologies, and I replied generically. I realized right after that he bumped into me on purpose. I knew this based on how he bumped into me, the space around me, what he said, and how he said it. I was sooooooo angry with myself. I immediately went looking for him but couldn’t find him. The second experience was sustained eye contact. There were two guys that I was admiring for part of the night. They looked my way as well at times. So at one point, one of them was either coming back from the bar or bathroom and was walking towards his friend through the dance floor for about 20 feet. I noticed him early and we made eye contact. We sustained eye contact for his full walk back to his friend. I believe that meant something, and I should have met them both on the dance floor. Right? But I didn’t. I did meet someone else who was way into me and too complimentary. It was getting to the point where I felt he was trying way too hard and he was becoming very unattractive. We left together, but on the 30 minute walk home I realized that I wasn’t into him. He lives another three blocks east of me so I didn’t feel bad, nor did I ever lead him on. However, during this walk I experienced another surprising event. Not once, but twice did two separate cars with their windows down hurl some gay comments at us as we were walking on Santa Monica Blvd east of La Cienega. (which is about 2/3 of a mile east of the area where most of the bars and clubs are) I was shocked and surprised, but it didn’t really phase me. Honestly, I was trying to reconcile the timing of it all having just come out to my sister and trying to understand what the meaning behind this message was. However, the guy I was walking with made it a point to say that an incident like that is why he takes the cab and usually doesn’t walk home alone.
After reflecting on my night at Suede I can easily say that I am DEFINITELY going back. Who knows, maybe next time I will actually dance with a guy. (fwiw I really like to dance and was quite the dancer back in my fraternity days) It is becoming clearer to me that when I am fully comfortable and confident with myself again, I believe I am REALLY going to have some fun here in WEHO. I think I’m also done with putting pressure on myself for hooking up. Don’t get me wrong I really want to, and I have had a few opportunities to hook up since I got here. I passed on all of them because I wasn’t attracted to the guys that were attracted to me. Despite my need for more of these initial experiences, I do not believe I will fool around just for the sake of fooling around with a guy I have no interest in.
Sunday turned out to be a much more emotional day as the action of Friday started to sink in. I received a wonderful and heartfelt email from my sister in the morning as she visited our parents in Phoenix. It meant a great deal and I began to finally get emotional after I read it. A feeling of guilt then began to enter my mind in the mental energy I have now begun to place on those most important to me. The burden and work in a sense now shifts to them in understanding who the real and honest me is. I know I can’t control that, but that guilt is now omnipresent.
In the evening I spoke with my parents and sister. The conversation with my parents was a typical one but all I could think about was what was about to come. To know that in the not too distant future I am going to completely change their life and the image they have of their middle son. The conversation I had with my sister was a good one as I fought back my emotions. I am as concerned for her as she is for me in dealing with my new public reality. Ultimately, this will take time for all of us to grow in a positive fashion towards the future. But as I told her, from now on we have each other, fully and honestly, to support each other. I have provided her some resource information if she feels she needs it. She did mention that both she and my brother-in-law noticed a difference in me and thought I had a positive glow that they hadn't seen in a while. When I got off the phone is when I finally started to let go. :’( My climax to the realization of a thing called life.
S.O.U.L.S.Y.S.T.E.M.-"It's Going to Be A Lovely Day"
What a Weekend!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Sis, the Truth be Told
And so it was said
Without nervousness nor fright
Hey sis I am gay
And I feel good tonight
So please stop all the crying
Even though their tears of joy
We now share something in common
Of an attraction for other boys
I am so so sorry
For this lie I’ve always told
My life has suffered for it
So I work to break this mold
The guilt I’ve carried these last few years
Has caused me nothing but anguish and pain
So in sharing this now with you tonight
I pray that our relationship will be enriched and gain
So please don’t feel sorry or pity for me
for the happiness lost or the days gone astray
I decided how to live my life with mostly correct decisions being made
With the one big exception, accepting that G-d created me gay
I can only look forward
to the future at hand
As the past is the past
And I’ve got to find me a man
So I look to that future
With great pride and a heart full of love
To a completely honest and more meaningful existence
As I believe the best has yet to come!
Without nervousness nor fright
Hey sis I am gay
And I feel good tonight
So please stop all the crying
Even though their tears of joy
We now share something in common
Of an attraction for other boys
I am so so sorry
For this lie I’ve always told
My life has suffered for it
So I work to break this mold
The guilt I’ve carried these last few years
Has caused me nothing but anguish and pain
So in sharing this now with you tonight
I pray that our relationship will be enriched and gain
So please don’t feel sorry or pity for me
for the happiness lost or the days gone astray
I decided how to live my life with mostly correct decisions being made
With the one big exception, accepting that G-d created me gay
I can only look forward
to the future at hand
As the past is the past
And I’ve got to find me a man
So I look to that future
With great pride and a heart full of love
To a completely honest and more meaningful existence
As I believe the best has yet to come!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
On Second Thought
Plans are meant to be changed. This blogging thing is quite powerful when you can look back and see what kind of idiot you’ve become. Through my own words, those of others on a number of other blogs, as well as my short time here in West Hollywood I’ve realized my truth. I’ve realized that I am 100% attracted to guys. Period! And although I haven’t fully experienced the full passion and love in the expression of what that attraction means, I fully know what I want and who I am.
I am Gay and I am Proud of who I am! My sister will learn that on Friday!
Cyndi Lauper-"True Colors"
I am Gay and I am Proud of who I am! My sister will learn that on Friday!
Cyndi Lauper-"True Colors"
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Under Pressure
I’m at the gym yesterday and I found a new time when there were a lot more hotties there. (at least on Monday) Anyway, yesterday was chest and back day. My second to last exercise were dumbbell rows.
I would like to think my form was a bit stricter with my straight leg providing more balance by being spaced out further, my ass in the air, and a nice arch in my back. Anyway, what was so funny was that right after I started this exercise, Under Pressure from Queen w/David Bowie came on my IPOD. I almost lost it as I thought it was so funny noting the position I was in on the bench and my lack of action since I arrived in WEHO.
Then I get home and learned that my younger sister and brother in-law would be making a quick visit to see me and my brother in-law’s sister in LA this Friday. I will be picking them up at the airport and bringing them to my apartment. We will then all go for dinner Friday night. Clearly I don’t know what will happen but this Friday may be the moment of truth. My plan at this point hasn’t changed. I still would like to come out to my parents first when I return to Phoenix in September. So I do not plan on initiating any conversation with regard to my sexuality, or lack thereof at this point, on Friday but I have decided that If they ask me if I am gay I will respond with the following:
I am looking forward to their visit and am hopeful that things will go well on Friday. I have NO concerns about my family accepting or loving me any less, and would be surprised at this point if they didn’t already expect it. Especially my sister and brother in-law. Nonetheless, I am prepared and ready for this discussion on Friday but I hope it doesn't occur. We shall see.
Now if I can only find a cute guy in the next two days. Now that's PRESSURE!
Queen w/David Bowie-"Under Pressure
I would like to think my form was a bit stricter with my straight leg providing more balance by being spaced out further, my ass in the air, and a nice arch in my back. Anyway, what was so funny was that right after I started this exercise, Under Pressure from Queen w/David Bowie came on my IPOD. I almost lost it as I thought it was so funny noting the position I was in on the bench and my lack of action since I arrived in WEHO.
Then I get home and learned that my younger sister and brother in-law would be making a quick visit to see me and my brother in-law’s sister in LA this Friday. I will be picking them up at the airport and bringing them to my apartment. We will then all go for dinner Friday night. Clearly I don’t know what will happen but this Friday may be the moment of truth. My plan at this point hasn’t changed. I still would like to come out to my parents first when I return to Phoenix in September. So I do not plan on initiating any conversation with regard to my sexuality, or lack thereof at this point, on Friday but I have decided that If they ask me if I am gay I will respond with the following:
Yes, I believe I am gay. I am not 100% certain because I have not fully experienced being with another guy, but I believe that I am and have always to some degree been attracted to other guys. I have only fooled around with another guy once at this point and we did nothing serious. I decided to move to West Hollywood to give myself the space and allow myself the strongest opportunity in living an honest and free life while figuring out just who I am. I have not told you up to now, and I wasn’t planning on telling you this weekend because I am not 100% certain, but since you asked, I told myself before I moved here that when I crossed the Colorado River I would no longer lie. I still need more time and until I am 100% certain I don’t intend to tell anyone else. So you MUST keep this conversation between us. I know that will be difficult for you SISTER, but it is very important to me that you do. I am hopeful that I will be able to be more forthcoming and open with everyone else by the time I return to Phoenix for my visit in September.
I am looking forward to their visit and am hopeful that things will go well on Friday. I have NO concerns about my family accepting or loving me any less, and would be surprised at this point if they didn’t already expect it. Especially my sister and brother in-law. Nonetheless, I am prepared and ready for this discussion on Friday but I hope it doesn't occur. We shall see.
Now if I can only find a cute guy in the next two days. Now that's PRESSURE!
Queen w/David Bowie-"Under Pressure
Monday, July 21, 2008
SatSun
So on Saturday I had a complimentary session, which felt more like a sales call, with a trainer at the new gym I joined. He put me through a few different unique movements which I certainly haven’t been used to. I also thought I cheated on one of the exercises and tweaked my lower back a bit, but he said my form was fine. Anyway, what was interesting was that he was wearing a Star of David around his neck. The thing was, he didn’t look like a member of the tribe at all. (and neither do I but that’s a post for another day) So after I tell him that I was not interested in signing up for training sessions, I ask him about his charm. As it turns out he is a fellow member and he even managed a gym in the same town I grew up in on the east coast. He lived in the next town over. I told him I was new to LA and we spoke for another few minutes about the tribe out here and where to meet other wanderers. The only thing I don’t know is whether he is gay. I don’t think he is nor do I think he thought I was based on some event info he provided me, but nonetheless it turned out to be an interesting connection.
The rest of the weekend I spent watching some more screenings at OUTFEST. On Saturday night I saw ANOTHER GAY SEQUEL: GAYS GONE WILD. Only 1 of the 4 main actors returned from the previous film. I thought it was very clever how they dealt with that in the beginning of the show. I’m not going to go into details about the movie and ruin it for any of my readers. For me, a film is either entertaining or not, and I thought this movie was entertaining. There were clever parts, fun parts, lol parts, and a whole bunch of other parts. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to have a fun, non-serious time for 2 hours. I also thought the new Griff was super cute. Oh, and I almost forgot to write that I sat with my friends right behind the actors from the movie. That was kind of a neat experience in watching how they interacted together. The film was shot in only 17 days and I don’t think all of the actors really knew one another. Beyond that, I don't fawn nor really care that someone is in film, as actors are just regular people too!
On Sunday afternoon I went to go see the film ANTARCTICA. This was the film that I was most excited about seeing when I read the directory 5 days ago. Thankfully, the film didn’t let me down and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND it! Antarctica is an Israeli film with HOT actors and a great story. The description from the OUTFEST website is:
Yiftach Mizrahi
Guy Zo-Aretz and Tomer Ilan
Tomer Ilan (my fave)
On Sunday night I went to the Ford Amphitheatre for the OUTFEST Awards presentation and the film WERE THE WORLD MINE. Before the awards and show started, I was invited to join some new friends at their picnic before the presentation. So I am on my way and I experienced my first run in with LA traffic. The Ford is only about 4-5 miles from where I live but the cars, they are everywhere. Suffice it to say I missed an exit, had to get on the freeway to turn around, and I ultimately arrived about 45 minutes late. Can you say STRESSSSSS! So I go to park and they make you park stacked. Which means everyone must leave at the same time because all cars are boxed in. (that would never fly in Arizona) That in itself was quite the LA experience but you know what, it worked and I only had to wait about 15 minutes. I finally get to the picnic and the neat thing was that you can bring your food and drink (including alcohol) with you into the venue. Being a strong proponent of tailgating at college football games, I thought this was really cool. (now if only my university would allow me to take in booze as I watch some football) Ah the film. I enjoyed Were the World Mine.
I thought it was an entertaining film with a nice story line. I also thought the actors did a great job in their roles. Not to mention they were all cute. (but young)
So there you have it, two weeks in the books. I’m glad I found out about OUTFEST because I really believe it was a positive experience for me to attend these screenings. Not only for the films, which were all entertaining, but for the experience of viewing, supporting, participating, and communicating with others at a GLBT event.
I hope you all had a great weekend, and have an opportunity in the not to distant future to check out these films.
And as I finish this post, once again my G-d playing deejay with the following on the radio: (I'm trying guys)
Supertramp:"Give A Little Bit"
The rest of the weekend I spent watching some more screenings at OUTFEST. On Saturday night I saw ANOTHER GAY SEQUEL: GAYS GONE WILD. Only 1 of the 4 main actors returned from the previous film. I thought it was very clever how they dealt with that in the beginning of the show. I’m not going to go into details about the movie and ruin it for any of my readers. For me, a film is either entertaining or not, and I thought this movie was entertaining. There were clever parts, fun parts, lol parts, and a whole bunch of other parts. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to have a fun, non-serious time for 2 hours. I also thought the new Griff was super cute. Oh, and I almost forgot to write that I sat with my friends right behind the actors from the movie. That was kind of a neat experience in watching how they interacted together. The film was shot in only 17 days and I don’t think all of the actors really knew one another. Beyond that, I don't fawn nor really care that someone is in film, as actors are just regular people too!
On Sunday afternoon I went to go see the film ANTARCTICA. This was the film that I was most excited about seeing when I read the directory 5 days ago. Thankfully, the film didn’t let me down and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND it! Antarctica is an Israeli film with HOT actors and a great story. The description from the OUTFEST website is:
The hip and beautiful boys and girls in this super sexy Israeli romantic comedy set in Tel Aviv are searching for something. For some it's just sex - and lots of it. Most nights bespectacled cutie Omer works at the local library and reads books about U.F.O.s before bed. Then Omer meets Ronen, a devastatingly handsome journalist. Might Ronen have the ability to melt Omer's frozen heart and give him what he didn't know he was looking for?I guess the film, and specifically the character of Omer, in some way resonated with me. Plus I realized that I need to get my ass to Tel Aviv. There I can find more of this:
Yiftach Mizrahi
Guy Zo-Aretz and Tomer Ilan
Tomer Ilan (my fave)
On Sunday night I went to the Ford Amphitheatre for the OUTFEST Awards presentation and the film WERE THE WORLD MINE. Before the awards and show started, I was invited to join some new friends at their picnic before the presentation. So I am on my way and I experienced my first run in with LA traffic. The Ford is only about 4-5 miles from where I live but the cars, they are everywhere. Suffice it to say I missed an exit, had to get on the freeway to turn around, and I ultimately arrived about 45 minutes late. Can you say STRESSSSSS! So I go to park and they make you park stacked. Which means everyone must leave at the same time because all cars are boxed in. (that would never fly in Arizona) That in itself was quite the LA experience but you know what, it worked and I only had to wait about 15 minutes. I finally get to the picnic and the neat thing was that you can bring your food and drink (including alcohol) with you into the venue. Being a strong proponent of tailgating at college football games, I thought this was really cool. (now if only my university would allow me to take in booze as I watch some football) Ah the film. I enjoyed Were the World Mine.
I thought it was an entertaining film with a nice story line. I also thought the actors did a great job in their roles. Not to mention they were all cute. (but young)
So there you have it, two weeks in the books. I’m glad I found out about OUTFEST because I really believe it was a positive experience for me to attend these screenings. Not only for the films, which were all entertaining, but for the experience of viewing, supporting, participating, and communicating with others at a GLBT event.
I hope you all had a great weekend, and have an opportunity in the not to distant future to check out these films.
And as I finish this post, once again my G-d playing deejay with the following on the radio: (I'm trying guys)
Supertramp:"Give A Little Bit"
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Am I Walking Yet
Or still crawling?
So on Thursday I’m getting ready to go out and lo and behold I get a call from my named twin. It has been hit and miss with him in us attempting to get together to finally meet. Since he lives in my neighborhood, and he too was planning to go out on Thursday we agreed to get together for one drink. We met up at 10:15 at this little place down the street from me. One drink led to two drinks and what do you know it’s 11:30. Suffice it to say we had a good time, great conversation, and I think I surprised him. It turns out that he is a bit older than I but nonetheless he seems like a really fun and open guy. (and for the record, I was not physically attracted to him) He was planning to go to Fubar that night and I was planning to go to O-bar. It was my understanding that these two places were the places to go to on Thursday. He kept on prodding me to go to Fubar with him and meet some of his friends. Unfortunately, I had heard about Fubar’s Thursday night event and I didn’t feel I was ready for it just yet. Despite his best efforts he understood how I felt. Before we closed our tab, he did ask me one thing. He wanted to know if he could set me up with a friend of his. To which I replied YES! It was really nice to meet my named twin and I really believe a friendship is possible here.
I get to O-bar and the place has a decent crowd. The only problem was that within 20 minutes of me arriving the crowd starts to dissipate. (I didn’t realize I was such a turnoff....haha) I have a guess that as their drink specials ended guys left. Or maybe it was a weekday and guys had work in the morning. The funny thing about my experience at O-bar on this night was that I ran into some guys I met on my trip to weho in June. Unfortunately for them my answer this time was the same as it was last time.
I had two goals for Friday night. The first was to get over my apprehension about visiting Fiesta Cantina. The second was to make the first move and approach another guy instead of waiting for someone to approach me. In the past, whenever I had walked by Fiesta the place was packed. It reminded me of a bar from college where you go to get fucked up and I was always intimidated by those crowded places. That and Fiesta is very casual. So my plan was to get there before I thought it got busy. First off, my outfit was a t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and I had no product in my hair. Casual at last! I arrived at Fiesta around 4:45 thinking that it would get busy for their happy hour as guys get off of work. The front patio was full but the inside was empty. That surprised me. I sat down at a table just to the left of the entrance. Perfect location to view the comings and goings outside as well as all those who enter. I enjoyed one too many double margaritas when I said to myself now is the time. There were two guys who I noticed as they entered. They ended up sitting at a table behind me. I turned to them and I believe I asked them, “When does it really get busy here?” I don’t remember what they said but that was all it took. We ended up talking for quite a while. They noticed me earlier and said that they thought I was from out of town. They thought that because as one of them commented, “no one goes to gay bars alone in weho.” Except me of course. haha
They were getting ready to leave and invited me to join up with them at the Abbey. I closed out my tab and then headed over to the Abbey. The only problem was that they didn’t make it there. I canvassed the Abbey and was livid feeling like I’d been played like a fool. I left the Abbey and went looking for them at Eleven. No such luck. I then decided to make one last trek back to the Abbey when one of them waved me down from another bar on the way to the Abbey. They apologized and said that clearly they did not make it to the Abbey. I joined them for a drink and then we all went to the Abbey. We were there for a little bit when the two of them said that they were going to go and celebrate one of their birthdays. (the guy I was more attracted to) Before they left I asked for their numbers and received them. I haven’t tried calling them yet but will in the next day or so. I stayed for another drink and then went home. I drank quite a bit and passed out as soon as I got home.
Despite my continued disappointment in going out and coming home alone, although it has really only been 3 nights, I had fun yesterday and met my goals for the night. I even got two numbers. :-) However, analyzing it today I think I missed some signals. First one was when we were at Fiesta. I was leaning over their table and the one who I thought was cute, whom I told had beautiful eyes, was brushing his leg up against mine. I certainly noticed and felt it. Was that a sign or a signal? He knew how green I was so why didn’t he lead me further? Then when they left the Abbey and they clearly said they were going to celebrate one of their birthdays, was that a cue for me to say something like, “well can I come so you can unwrap your present?”
The joys of being fifteen again!
Tears For Fears-"Elemental"
So on Thursday I’m getting ready to go out and lo and behold I get a call from my named twin. It has been hit and miss with him in us attempting to get together to finally meet. Since he lives in my neighborhood, and he too was planning to go out on Thursday we agreed to get together for one drink. We met up at 10:15 at this little place down the street from me. One drink led to two drinks and what do you know it’s 11:30. Suffice it to say we had a good time, great conversation, and I think I surprised him. It turns out that he is a bit older than I but nonetheless he seems like a really fun and open guy. (and for the record, I was not physically attracted to him) He was planning to go to Fubar that night and I was planning to go to O-bar. It was my understanding that these two places were the places to go to on Thursday. He kept on prodding me to go to Fubar with him and meet some of his friends. Unfortunately, I had heard about Fubar’s Thursday night event and I didn’t feel I was ready for it just yet. Despite his best efforts he understood how I felt. Before we closed our tab, he did ask me one thing. He wanted to know if he could set me up with a friend of his. To which I replied YES! It was really nice to meet my named twin and I really believe a friendship is possible here.
I get to O-bar and the place has a decent crowd. The only problem was that within 20 minutes of me arriving the crowd starts to dissipate. (I didn’t realize I was such a turnoff....haha) I have a guess that as their drink specials ended guys left. Or maybe it was a weekday and guys had work in the morning. The funny thing about my experience at O-bar on this night was that I ran into some guys I met on my trip to weho in June. Unfortunately for them my answer this time was the same as it was last time.
I had two goals for Friday night. The first was to get over my apprehension about visiting Fiesta Cantina. The second was to make the first move and approach another guy instead of waiting for someone to approach me. In the past, whenever I had walked by Fiesta the place was packed. It reminded me of a bar from college where you go to get fucked up and I was always intimidated by those crowded places. That and Fiesta is very casual. So my plan was to get there before I thought it got busy. First off, my outfit was a t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and I had no product in my hair. Casual at last! I arrived at Fiesta around 4:45 thinking that it would get busy for their happy hour as guys get off of work. The front patio was full but the inside was empty. That surprised me. I sat down at a table just to the left of the entrance. Perfect location to view the comings and goings outside as well as all those who enter. I enjoyed one too many double margaritas when I said to myself now is the time. There were two guys who I noticed as they entered. They ended up sitting at a table behind me. I turned to them and I believe I asked them, “When does it really get busy here?” I don’t remember what they said but that was all it took. We ended up talking for quite a while. They noticed me earlier and said that they thought I was from out of town. They thought that because as one of them commented, “no one goes to gay bars alone in weho.” Except me of course. haha
They were getting ready to leave and invited me to join up with them at the Abbey. I closed out my tab and then headed over to the Abbey. The only problem was that they didn’t make it there. I canvassed the Abbey and was livid feeling like I’d been played like a fool. I left the Abbey and went looking for them at Eleven. No such luck. I then decided to make one last trek back to the Abbey when one of them waved me down from another bar on the way to the Abbey. They apologized and said that clearly they did not make it to the Abbey. I joined them for a drink and then we all went to the Abbey. We were there for a little bit when the two of them said that they were going to go and celebrate one of their birthdays. (the guy I was more attracted to) Before they left I asked for their numbers and received them. I haven’t tried calling them yet but will in the next day or so. I stayed for another drink and then went home. I drank quite a bit and passed out as soon as I got home.
Despite my continued disappointment in going out and coming home alone, although it has really only been 3 nights, I had fun yesterday and met my goals for the night. I even got two numbers. :-) However, analyzing it today I think I missed some signals. First one was when we were at Fiesta. I was leaning over their table and the one who I thought was cute, whom I told had beautiful eyes, was brushing his leg up against mine. I certainly noticed and felt it. Was that a sign or a signal? He knew how green I was so why didn’t he lead me further? Then when they left the Abbey and they clearly said they were going to celebrate one of their birthdays, was that a cue for me to say something like, “well can I come so you can unwrap your present?”
The joys of being fifteen again!
Tears For Fears-"Elemental"
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Captain _____
For the first week and a half I have been using the gym at my apartment complex and running the streets of weho. The gym at the apartment complex has a decent array of equipment but not enough of the things that I need for my varied routines. I consider myself a runner/athlete more than a weightlifter so I utilize more things than just cardio equipment and weights.
So the last few days I visited the three gyms that were in walking distance of my apartment. The first gym’s monthly rate was low. I was greeted by a membership consultant who smelled like he just finished his cigarette. That is always a positive first impression when checking out a “health” club. ( :) ) I thought this facility was chaotic although it did have a pool which would come in handy if I decide to train for a sprint triathlon. The second gym’s monthly rate was moderate. I was greeted there by a membership consultant who was very friendly, bordering on flirtatious. So I clearly played along and it was fun. This facility was more organized and seemed to have a nice vibe to it. The third gym’s monthly rate was high. It was a beautiful facility and had an enormous amount of space and equipment. They even had a nice spa and the facility appeared as if their clientele were a bit more private and high end. Though with that being said it seemed more quiet and sterile. Decisions decisions????
I do feel honored though. After visiting all three, each of the membership consultants made a comment that I was the first person that they have ever seen that came for a tour of their facility with a pre-made list with the criteria and equipment that were needed for my workouts. (Yes I am anal although I still don’t know if I will like the other anal. :) ) Unfortunately, none of the gyms had all of the equipment that I am used to using for my workouts.
I did make a decision and this morning was my first workout. The gym wasn’t that crowded which in a sense was good for working out, but from a broader perspective was not so good in trying to meet people. I will have to play around with my workout times to determine the best times to visit. Who knew this job of mine would be so difficult. (:-D)
So the last few days I visited the three gyms that were in walking distance of my apartment. The first gym’s monthly rate was low. I was greeted by a membership consultant who smelled like he just finished his cigarette. That is always a positive first impression when checking out a “health” club. ( :) ) I thought this facility was chaotic although it did have a pool which would come in handy if I decide to train for a sprint triathlon. The second gym’s monthly rate was moderate. I was greeted there by a membership consultant who was very friendly, bordering on flirtatious. So I clearly played along and it was fun. This facility was more organized and seemed to have a nice vibe to it. The third gym’s monthly rate was high. It was a beautiful facility and had an enormous amount of space and equipment. They even had a nice spa and the facility appeared as if their clientele were a bit more private and high end. Though with that being said it seemed more quiet and sterile. Decisions decisions????
I do feel honored though. After visiting all three, each of the membership consultants made a comment that I was the first person that they have ever seen that came for a tour of their facility with a pre-made list with the criteria and equipment that were needed for my workouts. (Yes I am anal although I still don’t know if I will like the other anal. :) ) Unfortunately, none of the gyms had all of the equipment that I am used to using for my workouts.
I did make a decision and this morning was my first workout. The gym wasn’t that crowded which in a sense was good for working out, but from a broader perspective was not so good in trying to meet people. I will have to play around with my workout times to determine the best times to visit. Who knew this job of mine would be so difficult. (:-D)
OUTFEST 2008
As they say when in Rome......
I learned about OUTFEST this weekend from the guy who has the same name. For those that don’t know, OUTFEST 2008 is the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. Apparently the festival has been going on for a number of days now, and each night they screen a number of different films. I did a little research on the festival over the last few days and today was the first night that I actually went to go see a screening. This was the first film festival that I have ever attended.
I really had a nice night. In the lobby of the theatre before the screening I ran into a guy that I had met on Sunday at the function I attended. We spoke a little beforehand and I provided a bit more detail about my life and why I recently moved to LA. We then viewed the screening together. I got his business card and I look forward to his friendship and support as I continue to settle here in LA. He is a really nice guy who is a bit older than I, he already has a partner, and he has quite a few contacts here in town.
Tonight I saw Keen on Boys. Keen on Boys was a compilation of a number of different short films. The films were; Mr. A, Shotgun, Tá, Center of the Universe, Two Spirits One Journey, Romeo’s Kiss, and Silver Road. I thought all of them were decent shorts, but the ones that spoke to me the most were Center of the Universe, Two Spirits One Journey, and Silver Road. At the conclusion of the screening was a question/answer period with the writers of the films. I thought that was very cool, although the detail about film making is foreign to me. That is one of the funny things about me now living out here in Hollywood. I have never really been a film aficionado. I either find a film entertaining or a waste of time. I am here, and to steal a line from the short film Two Spirits One Journey, “you’re going to Hollywood, can you pick a more gay city.” And you guys know the rest.
Since I had such a nice night I decided that I would take advantage of this festival and screen a number of other films. So I bought tickets to Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild for Saturday night, Antarctica for Sunday afternoon, and Were the World Mine for Sunday night which also happens to be the Awards night as well as having an after party.
I’m looking forward to these remaining films for the cultural experience and the sense of community that they foster. And who knows, maybe I will meet someone. At a minimum, I hope my rigid and stiff concrete barrier will begin to crack as I gain more comfort and familiarity within the community.
I learned about OUTFEST this weekend from the guy who has the same name. For those that don’t know, OUTFEST 2008 is the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. Apparently the festival has been going on for a number of days now, and each night they screen a number of different films. I did a little research on the festival over the last few days and today was the first night that I actually went to go see a screening. This was the first film festival that I have ever attended.
I really had a nice night. In the lobby of the theatre before the screening I ran into a guy that I had met on Sunday at the function I attended. We spoke a little beforehand and I provided a bit more detail about my life and why I recently moved to LA. We then viewed the screening together. I got his business card and I look forward to his friendship and support as I continue to settle here in LA. He is a really nice guy who is a bit older than I, he already has a partner, and he has quite a few contacts here in town.
Tonight I saw Keen on Boys. Keen on Boys was a compilation of a number of different short films. The films were; Mr. A, Shotgun, Tá, Center of the Universe, Two Spirits One Journey, Romeo’s Kiss, and Silver Road. I thought all of them were decent shorts, but the ones that spoke to me the most were Center of the Universe, Two Spirits One Journey, and Silver Road. At the conclusion of the screening was a question/answer period with the writers of the films. I thought that was very cool, although the detail about film making is foreign to me. That is one of the funny things about me now living out here in Hollywood. I have never really been a film aficionado. I either find a film entertaining or a waste of time. I am here, and to steal a line from the short film Two Spirits One Journey, “you’re going to Hollywood, can you pick a more gay city.” And you guys know the rest.
Since I had such a nice night I decided that I would take advantage of this festival and screen a number of other films. So I bought tickets to Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild for Saturday night, Antarctica for Sunday afternoon, and Were the World Mine for Sunday night which also happens to be the Awards night as well as having an after party.
I’m looking forward to these remaining films for the cultural experience and the sense of community that they foster. And who knows, maybe I will meet someone. At a minimum, I hope my rigid and stiff concrete barrier will begin to crack as I gain more comfort and familiarity within the community.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
First Weekend
My first weekend in weho has come and gone. I was pretty excited for Friday night. My furntiture had come earlier in the day and for the first time since my arrival I had felt an assemblance of order in my life. For dinner, and for the first time, I decided to use the bbq by the pool at my apartment complex. While down there I spoke with some other dwellers, one whom I had met earlier in the week, so it was nice to begin to converse with some neighbors. However, as the new guy in an apartment complex I feel like I’ve crashed their proverbial party as everyone seems to already know each other. My plan for Friday night was to go to the Abbey. I wanted the Abbey to be the first bar I went to because it was the so called first “gay” bar that I had ever gone to. (on my trip to weho back in April) As I had mentioned in an earlier post the apartment I settled on is a hike from the main strip of gay clubs on Santa Monica Blvd. So according to walkjogrun.net (great site for the runners out there) I was 1.46 miles from the Abbey and the walk would take around 30 minutes. I don’t know if most people walk to the clubs or cab it, but I wanted to walk it to see if I would be a sweaty mess by the time I got there. (I wasn’t because the nights out here are awesome) Plus I wanted to walk a good part of Santa Monica Blvd. and gaze at people and allow them the opportunity to gaze at me. The walk was fun, went by quick, and I must say I kept laughing to myself and had a huge grin for most of it refleciting on all of my recent changes. I hate to say it but the walk to the Abbey was unfortunately the best part of my night on Friday. I got to the Abbey at 10:30 and got right in. The patios were pretty crowded and the interior space was not quite so. I got a drink and decided to walk around. The first thing I noticed was that I have to stop wearing a long sleeve button down shirt when I go out. Now I am not talking about a work button down but a casual button down with the sleeves rolled up, a blue t-shirt underneath that picked up on a stipe in the button down and jeans. For me that’s casual, but for weho casual seems to be a t-shirt. I get it. A t-shirt to show off what you got. Great, I can compete with what I got. But I don’t want to just wear a t-shirt when going out. That is not my style and I am not in my twenties anymore. Anyway, to make a long story short, Friday night at the Abbey was a bust. I spoke with more guys in the last few days walking my dog then I did at the Abbey. Sad, very sad! And as an aside, there were a lot of girls at the Abbey on Friday. It confused the hell out of me.
I woke up at six on Saturday to walk the dog and there was this tranquil peace and serenity in the city at that time of the day. I went back to bed after the walk and woke again at ten. I proceeded to go for a five mile run along Santa Monica and Sunset boulevards. These runs are a turn on for me as I get to show off what I got on my terms. It’s great to see the guys at the coffee shops and cafes look my way as I run by. Plus, I really enjoy running as it does wonders for your body and mind. (then again maybe not my mind since I still have so many hangups) After my run I went to the pool for the first time. I laid out for a few hours and to my surprise the pool wasn’t that crowded. I learned from this pool experience that I have to stop using the spray on suntan lotions. Everytime I use one of them I realize hours later the areas that I didn’t get good coverage. I look like a leopard from my neck down with very visible areas where I clearly missed a few spots. After the pool I ran some errands and did still more apartment shopping. After this past week I feel like I am doing my part to help keep the American economy out of a recession. My plan for Saturday night was to go check out some bars closer to my apartment. First on the list was a place called iCandy. I left my apartment at eleven. When I arrived at iCandy I looked at the line and observed that they must be having some sort of hetero, African American night. So I continued to walk past the place and end up making a long loop back to where I came from. Another place near me that I heard about was a place called O-bar. I went there next, got right in and realized the place was empty. I was annoyed, ordered a beer, and started chatting up a guy at the bar who was playing with his new iPhone. That lasted all of two minutes as he was there with someone else. I finished my beer and went home. Live and learn, and cross those two places off of my Saturday night to do list.
On Sunday I woke up early, walked the dog, and went to the gym at my complex for an abs and arm workout. After five days of working out and running, it feels good to be back on a schedule after a hiatus. It is amazing that after only about 2-3 weeks of not doing squat, and no not the leg exercises, weights that I used to have no problems with all of a sudden got a lot heavier. After working out, I went back to the Beverly Center, a shopping mall, to make some merchandise exchanges.
So there you have it. My first week and weekend in West Hollywood has come to a close and I feel good!
I woke up at six on Saturday to walk the dog and there was this tranquil peace and serenity in the city at that time of the day. I went back to bed after the walk and woke again at ten. I proceeded to go for a five mile run along Santa Monica and Sunset boulevards. These runs are a turn on for me as I get to show off what I got on my terms. It’s great to see the guys at the coffee shops and cafes look my way as I run by. Plus, I really enjoy running as it does wonders for your body and mind. (then again maybe not my mind since I still have so many hangups) After my run I went to the pool for the first time. I laid out for a few hours and to my surprise the pool wasn’t that crowded. I learned from this pool experience that I have to stop using the spray on suntan lotions. Everytime I use one of them I realize hours later the areas that I didn’t get good coverage. I look like a leopard from my neck down with very visible areas where I clearly missed a few spots. After the pool I ran some errands and did still more apartment shopping. After this past week I feel like I am doing my part to help keep the American economy out of a recession. My plan for Saturday night was to go check out some bars closer to my apartment. First on the list was a place called iCandy. I left my apartment at eleven. When I arrived at iCandy I looked at the line and observed that they must be having some sort of hetero, African American night. So I continued to walk past the place and end up making a long loop back to where I came from. Another place near me that I heard about was a place called O-bar. I went there next, got right in and realized the place was empty. I was annoyed, ordered a beer, and started chatting up a guy at the bar who was playing with his new iPhone. That lasted all of two minutes as he was there with someone else. I finished my beer and went home. Live and learn, and cross those two places off of my Saturday night to do list.
On Sunday I woke up early, walked the dog, and went to the gym at my complex for an abs and arm workout. After five days of working out and running, it feels good to be back on a schedule after a hiatus. It is amazing that after only about 2-3 weeks of not doing squat, and no not the leg exercises, weights that I used to have no problems with all of a sudden got a lot heavier. After working out, I went back to the Beverly Center, a shopping mall, to make some merchandise exchanges.
I only bring this up because I wanted to express my amazement at how lazy, selfish, ignorant, and stupid “some” people are out here. At the Beverly Center you have to pay for parking. I guess they recently changed their procedures from paying for parking when you exited the parking structure at a manned exit booth, to one where you pay using an automated machine from where you physically exit the mall. You then receive a “paid” parking ticket from the automated machine that you use to initiate the lifting of the parking gate at the exit. There are signs everywhere about this change. There are verbal cues from this sexy European sounding woman as you enter and exit the mall. The bottom line is this, I have been to the Beverly Center probably 7 times since I arrived here on Sunday. Every time I have left the Beverly Center there has been one of those lazy, selfish, and stupid people who decided not to pay attention and cause backups for others by not being able to exit. Get with it people and start paying the fuck attention. Your shit does stink and is getting way old!Later in the day I went to a little gathering where I met some nice guys, some of whom I thought were pretty cute. I had some really good conversations with a number of people, learned quite a bit, and it was a very nice few hours. One piece of advice that I am going to take away from one of the more experienced guys I met was to not have such high and immediate expectations for things to happen. He was pretty adamant that good things lay ahead for me and to not put myself in a position where I continually get discouraged. His advice was pretty timely coming on the disappointment that I had on Friday and Saturday at the bars. He also thought I was 24 which was extremely flattering.
So there you have it. My first week and weekend in West Hollywood has come to a close and I feel good!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Again, What's Your Name?
So, I’m on this guest list, and as I learned yesterday so is my named twin. That is I have the same first and last name as someone else here in weho. I know for some that is not that ironic or funny, but for me it is. (I am not a Smith nor a Jones nor a Cohen nor a Goldberg, etc.) In my life I have come across and met only 1 other, non-family of course, person with the same last name. (despite there being more out there I’m sure) So to be out here in weho a few days and find out that there is someone else with your same first and last name is WAY too funny. Now I don’t know his age, what he looks like, or anything really about him, but after going back and forth on some emails and I asked that we get together, he gave me his phone number and we most likely will meet. At the minimum we will both have a stand-in for the other if there was ever a date or event that one of us didn’t want to go to. We can now honestly send the other and play a little switch-a-roo. How fun! ( haha) Just way too funny!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Hello from WEHO!
I am pleased to write that I and dog have safely arrived in West Hollywood, California!
I rolled in to town around 2:30PM on Sunday afternoon. My biggest concern on the drive out was how my dog would behave in the new car for over six hours. For the most part he did very well. He seemed comfortable, up until the last hour, and he did not have any accidents. When I arrived I immediately took the dog for a walk so he could get his feet back under him and then we both went to the leasing office. The leasing office overlooks and opens into the pool area and I had this vision and dream on the drive out that I would arrive and the pool area would be the homo version of the Playboy mansion pool grotto. Kind of like Moses parting the hetero sea for me and leading me to my gay promised land. Only the promised land that was visible at the pool on Sunday, based on my preconceived labeling skills was a picture of the hetero lifestyle that I had just left. That is not a bad thing nor do I really know what I was looking at so I really shouldn’t even have thought that, but I did. So the first thing that I learned was that if I hope to not be labeled out here, then I need to stop labeling others.
The last few days have been spent getting my apartment in order and acclimating myself and my dog to our new surroundings. I won't be fully settled until this weekend when my furniture arrives. The apartment is sweet! Although, surprise surprise, was not finished being painted when I arrived on Sunday. The free wireless that the apartment complex offers near the pool and lobby, surprise surprise, does not work with my MacBook. (I was doing the right thing and even went to the Apple store to make sure of that, so I nor the admin here have a clue as to why I can’t access it.) Time Warner cable and hi-speed internet, surprise surprise, stopped working 2 hours after it was installed yesterday afternoon. So suffice it say, the last few days have been a bit frustrating and obviously stressful. I do recognize though that is to be expected with any type of move. However, what I can’t stand is when someone says something and doesn’t follow through with it. If you tell me you’re are going to do something then DO IT! I can’t stand FLAKES and it appears LA has them in bunches.
What LA also has are bunches of people, cars, and some really great weather. The diversity and friendliness of the people that I have seen and encountered in just the last few days is refreshing. I do look forward to meeting more people like me and obviously NOT like me. The cars are everywhere and I am going to have to get used to driving in this fast paced city with funky on-street parking at different times of the day. And let’s just say once again how I love my car. I have yet to see another one like it. (are they looking at me, the car, or both?) Having lived in Arizona for some time, I know heat. So even when LA gets into the 90s, that is cool to me. It’s nice to be in the middle of the summer and not have to use your air conditioning.
But what’s really most important is that I am here. Here to take that chance and recreate my life. Recreate it in an honest image. I’m not naive to think that the continuation of my journey here in LA will be easy, but I do believe it feels right. The opportunities are now in front of me and I hope to be open to all of the possibilities. I have no more ifs, ands, or buts. Excuses, those were so Arizona. The time is now to begin to let go so the real growth can begin!
Paul Van Dyk-"Time of Our Lives"
I rolled in to town around 2:30PM on Sunday afternoon. My biggest concern on the drive out was how my dog would behave in the new car for over six hours. For the most part he did very well. He seemed comfortable, up until the last hour, and he did not have any accidents. When I arrived I immediately took the dog for a walk so he could get his feet back under him and then we both went to the leasing office. The leasing office overlooks and opens into the pool area and I had this vision and dream on the drive out that I would arrive and the pool area would be the homo version of the Playboy mansion pool grotto. Kind of like Moses parting the hetero sea for me and leading me to my gay promised land. Only the promised land that was visible at the pool on Sunday, based on my preconceived labeling skills was a picture of the hetero lifestyle that I had just left. That is not a bad thing nor do I really know what I was looking at so I really shouldn’t even have thought that, but I did. So the first thing that I learned was that if I hope to not be labeled out here, then I need to stop labeling others.
The last few days have been spent getting my apartment in order and acclimating myself and my dog to our new surroundings. I won't be fully settled until this weekend when my furniture arrives. The apartment is sweet! Although, surprise surprise, was not finished being painted when I arrived on Sunday. The free wireless that the apartment complex offers near the pool and lobby, surprise surprise, does not work with my MacBook. (I was doing the right thing and even went to the Apple store to make sure of that, so I nor the admin here have a clue as to why I can’t access it.) Time Warner cable and hi-speed internet, surprise surprise, stopped working 2 hours after it was installed yesterday afternoon. So suffice it say, the last few days have been a bit frustrating and obviously stressful. I do recognize though that is to be expected with any type of move. However, what I can’t stand is when someone says something and doesn’t follow through with it. If you tell me you’re are going to do something then DO IT! I can’t stand FLAKES and it appears LA has them in bunches.
What LA also has are bunches of people, cars, and some really great weather. The diversity and friendliness of the people that I have seen and encountered in just the last few days is refreshing. I do look forward to meeting more people like me and obviously NOT like me. The cars are everywhere and I am going to have to get used to driving in this fast paced city with funky on-street parking at different times of the day. And let’s just say once again how I love my car. I have yet to see another one like it. (are they looking at me, the car, or both?) Having lived in Arizona for some time, I know heat. So even when LA gets into the 90s, that is cool to me. It’s nice to be in the middle of the summer and not have to use your air conditioning.
But what’s really most important is that I am here. Here to take that chance and recreate my life. Recreate it in an honest image. I’m not naive to think that the continuation of my journey here in LA will be easy, but I do believe it feels right. The opportunities are now in front of me and I hope to be open to all of the possibilities. I have no more ifs, ands, or buts. Excuses, those were so Arizona. The time is now to begin to let go so the real growth can begin!
Paul Van Dyk-"Time of Our Lives"
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Dear Adam,
Well kid, I know it has been quite the struggle. What a long road for you to get to this point. It is only fitting that the interstate highway between Phoenix and Los Angeles is a fairly straight one, a metaphor for the life that you have lived.
All of those years looking at you in the mirror wondering if ever? If ever you would be honest with yourself, if ever you would come to grips and accept it, if ever you would take that chance, and if ever you would begin to live your life. Well if ever begins today!
By now, hopefully you have safely left the great state of Arizona, crossed over the Colorado River, and entered California on your way to West Hollywood. The symbolism of crossing that bridge must have been an emotional experience for you as you looked out the windshield at the future that lay ahead, along with that quick, last glance out the rear view mirror at the past you’ve known all too well. As you traveled further and further from the Arizona state line the realization I’m sure sunk in that your next trip back to Arizona all of a sudden got closer and closer. Closer to the time when the truth will finally be told and the burden forever lifted.
I’m proud of you and I hope you are as equally proud of yourself. I’m proud that you have made that change and taken that step forward in your life. Proud that you have taken that action which you believe was necessary to learn more about yourself and overcome the obstacles that you felt you faced. Proud that you have chosen to face your fears and challenge yourself in ways you have never challenged yourself before. Proud that you have chosen to live your life as your G-d created you to live it.
And you owe it to yourself to live life to its fullest as you! Don’t feel you need to pretend or be pressured to do something or be someone who you are not. In an effort to be like everyone else or to feel like you need to belong in West Hollywood. You have already lived that life of pretend.
So Be yourself! Be safe! Be smart! Be confident! Be real! Be free!
And most importantly Adam, it’s about time you started to love yourself for who you are!
Michael Jackson-"Man in the Mirror"
All of those years looking at you in the mirror wondering if ever? If ever you would be honest with yourself, if ever you would come to grips and accept it, if ever you would take that chance, and if ever you would begin to live your life. Well if ever begins today!
By now, hopefully you have safely left the great state of Arizona, crossed over the Colorado River, and entered California on your way to West Hollywood. The symbolism of crossing that bridge must have been an emotional experience for you as you looked out the windshield at the future that lay ahead, along with that quick, last glance out the rear view mirror at the past you’ve known all too well. As you traveled further and further from the Arizona state line the realization I’m sure sunk in that your next trip back to Arizona all of a sudden got closer and closer. Closer to the time when the truth will finally be told and the burden forever lifted.
I’m proud of you and I hope you are as equally proud of yourself. I’m proud that you have made that change and taken that step forward in your life. Proud that you have taken that action which you believe was necessary to learn more about yourself and overcome the obstacles that you felt you faced. Proud that you have chosen to face your fears and challenge yourself in ways you have never challenged yourself before. Proud that you have chosen to live your life as your G-d created you to live it.
And you owe it to yourself to live life to its fullest as you! Don’t feel you need to pretend or be pressured to do something or be someone who you are not. In an effort to be like everyone else or to feel like you need to belong in West Hollywood. You have already lived that life of pretend.
So Be yourself! Be safe! Be smart! Be confident! Be real! Be free!
And most importantly Adam, it’s about time you started to love yourself for who you are!
Michael Jackson-"Man in the Mirror"
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Independence in Tempe
It was only fitting for me to spend my July 4th, Independence Day, evening and night in the City of Tempe . 
It was here where I first learned what Independence was all about. I will always have a fondness and love for this city as it has had an indelible impact on my life. It was really nice to walk the streets, reflect on my past, and gaze at the impressive amount of growth that has transpired here since my arrival in Arizona. I will be back to enjoy that growth, but now it is time for me to practice what that Independence I first learned about and got a taste of here in Tempe truly means. Now is the time to walk on!
U2-"Walk On"
It was here where I first learned what Independence was all about. I will always have a fondness and love for this city as it has had an indelible impact on my life. It was really nice to walk the streets, reflect on my past, and gaze at the impressive amount of growth that has transpired here since my arrival in Arizona. I will be back to enjoy that growth, but now it is time for me to practice what that Independence I first learned about and got a taste of here in Tempe truly means. Now is the time to walk on!
U2-"Walk On"
Friday, July 4, 2008
What's your address?
Last night I had dinner with my parents. About 15 minutes after I arrived my mom asked me for the address to the new place. I told her that my address wasn’t changing as my mail from Phoenix would be forwarded. She then asked me what city I was going to live in, Hollywood or West Hollywood? (I told my sister about two weeks ago that I found a place in Hollywood) She said others were asking. Up until this point I have been kind of vague. I believed, although it may be my own perception of what West Hollywood means, that if I admitted from the beginning that I was moving to West Hollywood then that would certainly have given away my big secret.
Early on I told my family that I was moving to LA. After my visit there a few weeks ago, the location was then narrowed down to the West LA, Hollywood, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills area. So for my mom to specifically ask and mention West Hollywood was quite interesting and a bit surprising. For a brief second there I was going to ask her who was asking, and who are you telling that I am moving, and then I said to myself I don’t care anymore. I told her that I was moving to West Hollywood and that was the end of it. She didn’t probe any further, but I have a sense that if she doesn’t know about West Hollywood or it’s demographic makeup now, she will most likely learn about it from whoever was asking.
Despite this unexpected surprise of a question, I believe this is how I ultimately wanted it to happen. For my family and friends to assume that I was gay before I had to tell them. With this thinking and the steps that I have taken in learning more about myself and changing my life, I am not sure if I should be ashamed or proud of my measured way of coming out.
(Backing up a second, the only people that know, or who I have told, that I am moving are my immediate family members and the four guys mentioned earlier in the Loose Ends post. All of my friends who received my email in the Runners, take your mark post simply know that I will be traveling.)
Early on I told my family that I was moving to LA. After my visit there a few weeks ago, the location was then narrowed down to the West LA, Hollywood, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills area. So for my mom to specifically ask and mention West Hollywood was quite interesting and a bit surprising. For a brief second there I was going to ask her who was asking, and who are you telling that I am moving, and then I said to myself I don’t care anymore. I told her that I was moving to West Hollywood and that was the end of it. She didn’t probe any further, but I have a sense that if she doesn’t know about West Hollywood or it’s demographic makeup now, she will most likely learn about it from whoever was asking.
Despite this unexpected surprise of a question, I believe this is how I ultimately wanted it to happen. For my family and friends to assume that I was gay before I had to tell them. With this thinking and the steps that I have taken in learning more about myself and changing my life, I am not sure if I should be ashamed or proud of my measured way of coming out.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Comings and Goings
What's Coming?
I have traveled a lot on airlines over the last 10 years. With that I have accrued a lot of airline miles. Most of those miles were on US Airways and Southwest, so I just received in the mail a notice from American Airlines that my 13,000 miles were about to expire since I haven't accrued any miles with them in the last 18 months. However, before they expired I had the option of using those miles for magazines.
So what is coming to my apartment in California? The Advocate and Out! Now I don't know if these periodicals are worth their salt or if I will even find them a compelling read or looksy, but for me this was another step.
I made it a point to purchase this issue while away from home on a business trip. I remember being terrified at the time so I bought another magazine as well and made sure that GENRE was underneath it so the only person who noticed was the cashier when he scanned it. I solely bought it because I thought Drew, the guy on the cover, was HOT!
What's Going?
UPS came today to pick up the boxes that I'm having shipped to California.
And if I have done something wrong by illegally posting material or photos on my little blog that I had no right to post, and you are the rightful owner of these photos and would like me to remove them, I will gladly do so with a proper email of such. Thanks.
I have traveled a lot on airlines over the last 10 years. With that I have accrued a lot of airline miles. Most of those miles were on US Airways and Southwest, so I just received in the mail a notice from American Airlines that my 13,000 miles were about to expire since I haven't accrued any miles with them in the last 18 months. However, before they expired I had the option of using those miles for magazines.
Hmmmm.
So what is coming to my apartment in California? The Advocate and Out! Now I don't know if these periodicals are worth their salt or if I will even find them a compelling read or looksy, but for me this was another step.
So Mr./Mrs. Mailperson I don't care what you think as you put my magazines into the little box. hahaWhen I was filling out the online order form I actually hesitated a bit and was thinking about just using my initials but I knew better than that and addressed it to my full name. This will be the second time that I will have perused a gay content magazine. The first time was when I bought the following GENRE issue at a Barnes and Noble.
I made it a point to purchase this issue while away from home on a business trip. I remember being terrified at the time so I bought another magazine as well and made sure that GENRE was underneath it so the only person who noticed was the cashier when he scanned it. I solely bought it because I thought Drew, the guy on the cover, was HOT!
What's Going?
UPS came today to pick up the boxes that I'm having shipped to California.
And if I have done something wrong by illegally posting material or photos on my little blog that I had no right to post, and you are the rightful owner of these photos and would like me to remove them, I will gladly do so with a proper email of such. Thanks.
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